You asked for it

Finally! I know you're all waiting with anxious hearts to see the results of last week's "readers' poll" for this column. (For those of you who by some cruel twist of fate didn't read my column last week, I invited readers to e-mail me and vote on one of four column styles: Scathing political commentary, smarmy "stop and smell the roses" columns, humorous humanistic observation or cornucopia of random topics. Now that we're all up to speed, I'll continue.)\nThe people have spoken, and a cornucopia of random topics won by a landslide! (OK, so about two people voted, but they both voted for this column style, so it was a landslide of two.) I'm pretty excited about the results of the readers' poll, as I love both the word "cornucopia" and all things random.\nSo now, dear readers, we are ready to move forward together to explore subjects of great social importance and spiritual exploration.\nThis week's topic: The Backstreet Boys.\nStop laughing and pick the paper back up. You're darn right I'm going to write about the Backstreet Boys, and you're going to sit there and like it! \nYes, you are a brilliant college student, expanding your mental horizons on your way to corporate America. Yes, you are a passionate political activist just itching to lobby Congress and bring down The Man. And yes, you are an aspiring athlete who strives daily to hone your talent and physical prowess. \nBut you are also a fun-loving young adult who still smells your laundry to make sure it's wearable. And you drink your roommate's milk out of the carton. So don't sit there and tell me you're too cool for a boy band.\nThey're energetic, they're talented, three out of five of them are really hot, and at the very least, you can laugh at them at the MTV Video Music Awards as you wait for your favorite artist to perform. (In all honesty, I love those boys, but I can't defend their taste in clothing. And there is such a thing as too many special effects.)\nAre we as college students so jaded and bitter that we can't celebrate the joy and pageantry that is BSB? Have we so forgotten our musical roots of New Kids on the Block, Debbie Gibson, Paula Abdul and Bel Biv DeVoe? If you can complete the phrase "All right stop, collaborate and listen, Ice is back with a brand new ________," then you are not too cool to revel in BSB fun.\nNow don't sit there with your self-righteous smirk and think that Laura only listens to songs that could easily be covered by 2Ge+her. I'll have you know my CD collection contains everything from Radiohead to Tori Amos to Bon Jovi to "Les Miserables." My motto is: If it sounds good, buy it. (Or at least hope that a roommate downloads it on MP3. Not that anyone I know downloads MP3s. I'm just saying, I've heard somewhere people do that. But it's wrong, very wrong.)\nBut as much as I love those fiercely fine boys from Orlando, it is with sadness that I write this column. You see, I recently found out that Backstreet Boy Brian "B-Rock" Litrell, my second-favorite Boy, was married this week. This came just months after my favorite, Kevin Richardson, married. My heart hardly had time to mend from the first blow, and now this? But through the tears, I still hold on to my love for the Boys, doing my part as a fan to keep the pop dream alive. \nSo the next time you're cruising down Kirkwood Avenue and "I want it that way" comes on, just listen. If not for the benefit of yourself and your senses, do it for me. It's OK, no one has to know! Just let those sweet strains and tight melodies take you back to yesteryear when you had a poster of Tiffany on your bedroom wall. Life was simpler then.