Excerpts from 'Out on Fraternity Row'

Over the next few weeks, my ears became attuned to the references that were made about gays. Never once did I hear a positive one. The words "fag" came up as a derogatory term in every other sentence with certain brothers. Never once did I hear something that made me want to stand up and say, "Hey, I'm like that, I'm gay." The more comments I heard, the more I did not want to tell anyone. (David Anglikowski, "Family and the Bond of Brotherhood")\nOpenness is always the burden of the gay person. It is impossible for fraternities to reprogram their attitudes about gay people if they think they have never seen one." (Gerald Libonati, "Invisible Identities")\nYet, I was alone, isolated and afraid. I fought the truth. The truth was confusion; the confusion was pain; and the pain tore from me the appreciation for each moment, each friendship. The pain consumed me." (Michael T. McRaith, "Truth Succeeds, Always")\nI did not voice my feelings. Instead I joined the other guys in making fag jokes sometimes. Drawing a good laugh from my brothers made me feel included and appreciated. In my naivete, I saw common targets as common bonds. At many times during my college days, I felt my sexuality clawing to emerge from me, but I kept it at bay with a big straight act and a lot of hoping. I hoped I was wrong about my feelings. I hoped a great woman would come around and change me. And I hoped none of the men on campus would notice I was drooling over them in the meantime. (Mike Pecen, "Tattooed")\nAt a Blue House, a fraternity man hung in effigy from the eaves. A banner pointed at the hanged man, reading 'FAGGOT.' Some of the men at Orange House hung a banner from their balcony that read, 'NO FAGS IN OUR HOUSE.' The truth? There were homosexuals in both of those chapters." (Mike Pecen, "Tattooed.")\nThe door was broken open. My stereo speakers were kicked in. Someone had defecated on the bed. Records were smashed. Papers and books were shredded. And what would the scene be without epithets scrawled on the walls, doors and mirrors with my own shaving cream? I had been left an unmistakable message by my brothers: Faggot go home! (John H. Lee, "Night and Day.")\nComing out was liberating! Soon thereafter, I came out to some other gay friends. I was still apprehensive to come out to many of my straight friends, including my fraternity brothers. Would straight people understand? Because of the pressure in my chapter to conform and to be straight, I felt that I had to form a strong support network among my non-Greek friends before I could reveal my true feelings to my fraternity brothers. (Wil Forrest, "I'm In, I'm Out!")\nTo contact Lambda 10 Project click on: www.indiana.edu/~lambda10.\nTo contact Pillar, an organization to support gay, lesbian, and bisexual members of the greek community e-mail: Pillar@indiana.edu.