Boy bands make men miserable

The Backstreet Boys … Ricky Martin … Tom Jones. \nWhat do all of these "artists" have in common, besides sucking horribly? Women love them. Usually, personal taste is fun, although pointless, to discuss because people like all kinds of strange crap. But this is a situation in which the musical preference of an entire gender is not just bad; it is evil.\nBut before I go further, let me say I know there are exceptions to every rule. In this case, not all women listen to mindless pop music. I know of at least three who don't. You might think generalizations are a sign of ignorance and that they are harmful. I agree.\nBut they are also a lot of fun. \nMy problem is not necessarily with these pop music icons. After all, they are not trying to make my life miserable -- they are pawns of the corporate forces that manipulate our gals. My problem is with the women who purchase this filth.\nNow, don't get me wrong; I love women. In fact, I love women so much I often overlook their inferior musical preferences just so they can be with me. \nI remember one instance when I took a road trip with a girl named "Ho." I adored her. Yet she loved the boy bands and several groups I can't name, because their 15 minutes of fame expired a few minutes ago. I remember thinking, "Is a little nookie worth the pain and suffering I am enduring right now? I wonder if I can survive jumping out of a moving vehicle at 70 mph?" \nIn hindsight, I should have seized the day and made her aware of her musical impairment. Our relationship didn't last anyway, silly Ho. So I offer up this piece of advice to the gentlemen out there: Don't wait another minute to tell your girlfriend her music sucks. Do it now, before it's too late!\nIt all started with New Kids on the Block, and now we have 'N Sync, 98° and, of course, the Backstreet Boys. These bands are so similar, it seems the groups were all formed under the direction of a diabolical, lonely, fat man. This fiendish formula of five actors with good voices has made my life a living hell. \nAnd women buy up these CDs as if they were rare Beanie Babies. (Incidentally, one of the Backstreet Boys has an extensive collection of said Babies. Excuse me while I purge.) \nIt bugs me that women are supposed to be the more sensitive of the two sexes, and yet they don't seem to care that these artists don't even write their own music. It doesn't come from their heart and soul, as many of you would like to believe. But it does come from some fat, bald man who has read a few too many romance novels. Hey, I'm sure he'd be more than happy to give you ladies "Una Noche." (Note to reader: That was a very clever reference to a song by one of the boy bands I saw the other night on MTV.)\nThese groups fulfill an urge most women are born with: the need for a relationship. It is sad females must turn to their radios for meaningful words of passion. But did it ever occur to them that maybe the reason their boyfriends prefer sex to conversation is because they have such poor taste in music? I think not. \nLet me pose another question to females around the world: Do you listen to this crap because you were born with horrible musical taste and you actually like it, or because society tells you this is the type of music to which females listen? If you truly enjoy this bunk music, fine. But if you are afraid of being viewed as un-feminine, don't be. Let me assure you males of all ages would have a newfound respect for you if you: 1) stopped requesting and/or buying boy-band music and 2) got breast implants.\nSorry, bad joke.\nLadies, I know you have a few redeeming qualities … but as a gender, taste in music is not one of them. I love you all and wish you the best. But I really wish you'd burn those damn CDs!