Closing the chapter on adolescent angst

It all started back in 1993. I remember watching MTV and seeing this funky multi-colored swirl of a video come on. The soaring high-pitched guitars matched the high-pitched vocals of the lead singer. "What the hell is this?" I remember thinking to myself. That was my introduction to the Smashing Pumpkins. \nAs the year wore on, I began to hear more about them. "Today" and "Disarm" were the hot singles of the moment, and I remember listening to a friend rave about the show he'd seen the night before at the Aragon Ballroom in Chicago. But it wasn't until my brother brought home the band's debut album Gish that my life began to change. The deep bass and psychedelic sounds pulled me in, and I delved deeper into Siamese Dream as well, experiencing the emotional and musical punch of songs like "Soma" and "Mayonaise." \nNow I sit here, seven years later. Four albums, 10 concert experiences across the Midwest, tons of concert bootlegs and one truly amazing weekend in a Chicago recording studio have only served to cement my relationship to the music, to the band that has been the soundtrack of my life. I've made friends across the world, and more recently, met a special someone, all from this connection to the music. \nSo, when the band's farewell concerts were announced Oct. 17, I knew I had to get tickets. I made plans and drove up to Chicago to wait in line at the United Center. Upon arriving at 11 p.m., my group found more than 200 people who already had the same idea. \nMidnight arrived, and security herded us into a gated parking lot, creating lines of people between metal barriars. People began to settle in for the long 12 hours ahead before tickets went on sale at noon. Sleeping bags unfurled, coolers were taken out and acoustic performances, card games and discussions with neighbors were the norm. \nUnwilling to sleep on the cold hard asphalt, I sat back to observe, to see what could bring hundreds of people together to sit outside a run-down neighborhood all night. What I saw were people of all different races, ages and classes, united by their love and admiration for the Smashing Pumpkins. I heard fans share stories about concerts they'd been to, discuss favorite songs and albums, all coupled up with an impromptu sing-along sometime early the next morning.\nAfter allowing people to take their belongings back to their cars, security began to tighten up as the anticipation built. We were ordered to sit single file, and security walked up and down each line, asking everyone if anyone had jumped places in line throughout the night.\nFinally, the time came and they stood us up, line by line. Being halfway back in the third line, I was worried about getting tickets to the Metro show, as only 600 of the 1,100 tickets were on sale to the public. As I walked up to the ticket window and saw the thinning stack of yellow and orange tickets, I knew I was in. I quickly asked for two for each show, handed over my money and grabbed the tickets. Meeting up with my friends outside, we all exchanged relieved glances and smiles, knowing the 13 hours of sitting and waiting had payed off.\nWalking away from the United Center, a man offered us $300 for a ticket, and in the following days, that price has only risen. Tickets for the final show at the Metro have been selling for more than $1,200, and even nosebleed seats at the United Center were fetching a few hundred dollars. \n While the thought of a cool two grand in my pocket is tempting, I know it's a decision I would regret. I've spent the past seven years growing up and maturing, turning to the band for solace and comfort through it all. Now, I sit on the verge of adulthood, with the start of a career and a new life less than a year away. As the Smashing Pumpkins wrap up the last chapter in its life, I will be beginning to do the same. The experience of camping out for tickets, and the shows themselves, will be the happy ending to the story of my youth.