TOGA party joins IUSA elections

Unveiling an agenda it promises not to fulfill, the TOGA party announced its candidacy for IU Student Association offices Tuesday.\n"I've been around here for a while, and IUSA has never done anything, and we're not going to do anything," said presidential candidate Joe Koleszar, a senior. "We're not going to lie to you.\nThe TOGA ticket's executive candidates are Koleszar, an IU student for seven years; graduate student Amber Coulter for vice president for congress; and senior Coreyallen Ross for vice president for administration. The platform lists no candidate for treasurer at this time, but whoever is elected will "do as they are told."\nThis is the second time a TOGA ticket has run for IUSA, Koleszar said. He said he was a member of the last TOGA party two years ago. The name was chosen then because every ticket was choosing a four-letter word for its name, he said.\n"It's a four letter word that goes well with party," Koleszar said.\nThe TOGA party decided to run within the last week, Ross said. He said the ticket's members plan to add a treasurer and at least one congressional candidate to fulfill IUSA elections rules.\n"We just found out we could run, so we're just putting together our platform," Ross said. "I think we make a pretty good team."\nThe ticket released some of its platform items in an e-mail.\n"(The platform is) what the most serious issues we feel facing the campus are," Koleszar said.\nThe ticket promises a "wet campus," in which "every sink will have three taps --hot, cold and beer." It said Dunn Meadow will become a miniature golf course, Ballantine Hall will be turned into a free parking garage, a Hooters restaurant will be added to the Indiana Memorial Union and a retractable dome will be installed above the University to protect students from the weather.\nThe TOGA party also promises to "end the plague of gnomes that the University has been suffering under for far too long."\n"(The gnomes are) just something that has to be experienced," Koleszer said. "We got rid of the pixies a few years ago, but the gnomes have to be dealt with."\nMembers said they will form the IU Dating Service and add a monorail system.\n"Sleep as long as you want and still get to class in 2 seconds!" according to the platform.\nThe TOGA party platform promises "to pay off bursar bills with fee money, hold back enough to (pay for) shelter and booze for the year and convert the rest into $5 bills that we will hand out at random places on campus."\nFinally, the ticket said it will set its candidates up as IUSA's permanent officers, so the campus doesn't have to go through another election.\nAt the end of its platform, the ticket states, "We at TOGA realize that, with the possible exception of the gnomes, none of the promises we made above will be carried out."\nKoleszar said he's looking forward to, among other things, handing out potatoes for votes.\n"Expect the unexpected," he said.