Ask the Sexpert

Dear Sexpert\nMy roommate has oral herpes. I am concerned that I might get it if, for instance, I share a candy bar with her or something like that. I know herpes is only contagious when one has an outbreak. But I understand it is contagious at the beginning of an outbreak, when the developing sore(s) can still be small enough as to go unnoticed by anyone other than the person who has the virus. I do not want to be paranoid, but on the other hand I don\'t want to get herpes. Could you tell me whether it is risky to ever share a glass with her even if at the time it seems that she doesn\'t have a breakout?\nHerpa-phobic\nDear Herpa-phobic\nThe herpes semplex virus (HSV) is broken into two strands: HSV-1, which is associated with cold sores or fever blisters around the mouth and nose, and HSV-2, otherwise known as genital herpes. HSV-2 is typically thought of as a sexually transmitted disease; HSV-1 is not. But either virus can be spread to either part of the body through oral-genital contact. In other words, if somebody with oral herpes performs oral sex on you during an outbreak, you could contract genital herpes, and vice versa. But you should also keep in mind that they are two separate viruses, and just because your roommate has oral herpes does not mean she also has genital herpes.\nBoth oral and genital herpes are most contagious during an actual outbreak, but genital herpes is much more likely to spread when there are no ostensible symptoms. HSV-1 is easier to contract because sores on the face are more exposed than sores on the genitals. During an outbreak, simple skin-on-skin contact is often all it takes to pass the virus to others.\nCold sores tend to erupt quickly - they usually go from nonexistent to fully formed within a day of the first \"tingly\" sensation of an oncoming outbreak. It is unlikely you would catch the virus during the beginning stages of an outbreak, because that stage doesn\'t last long. If you\'re concerned that your roommate is harboring tiny cold sores invisible to the naked eye, the only thing you can do is to ask your roommate to be open with you and tell you if she suspects an outbreak. Your roommate probably already knows that to avoid passing the virus on to other people or to other parts of her body, she needs to be diligent about her hygiene during an outbreak: she should avoid touching the sores, and if she does, she should wash her hands immediately before touching any other part of her body. You should also avoid touching her sores, kissing her, sharing eating utensils, etc. while she\'s having an outbreak.\nThere is no known cure for either form of the virus, but both are controllable. Your roommate can buy over-the-counter topical medications, such as Campho-Phenique or Abreva, to help heal sores that already exist. (Tell her to apply these ointments with a clean Q-tip, not her bare finger, and to avoid double-dipping the Q-tip.) And medications prescribed to control genital herpes outbreaks, such as Valtrex and Zovirax, are also effective in controlling oral herpes outbreaks.\nYou should also keep in mind that HSV-1 is extremely common: as many as 90 percent of people in some regions are infected with it by their 40s. So your roommate is not in the minority. That said, the most helpful thing you can do is avoid making your roommate feel like a hideous freak every time a little cold sore crops up.\nSend questions and comments to the Sexpert at jfinkel@indiana.edu.