Japanese school methods worth trying

Before today, all I really knew about Japan was that it was somewhere off the coast of Bermuda and that it was the birthplace of my television. But then yesterday, I read some stuff about the Japanese. \nNow I know this stuff and I can relate it to you people in a way that will 1) make me seem smart and 2) make you sound well-versed in Japanese affairs. You see, my relationship with you, the reader guys and gals, is mutually beneficial. Even when I yell at you and call you stupid, it is only because I care. Wink, wink. \nTo be more specific, I am going to speak at you about the similarities and differences between our schools and Japan's. It is a compare-and-contrast type of deal -- much like the history paper you turned in the other day that I saw your professor pissing on outside of Nick's while his fellow academics laughed hysterically at the fact that a major university had actually accepted a "total idiot" such as yourself. But I digress. \nWe Americans carry around many preconceived notions about our Asian brothers and sisters. Most of us tend to think of them as hard-studying library rats who tend to make up for their tense lifestyles by overindulging in the Saki while crooning Bruce Springsteen songs at the local karaoke bar. To buy into these stereotypes would be all kinds of wrong. They prefer Tom Jones.\nIn an attempt to dispel the damaging myths ignorant people like myself perpetuate, I did a little research and dug up some facts about Japanese schools. With some help from a 1999 study by the U.S. Department of Education, titled "To Sum It Up: Case Studies of Education In Germany, Japan and the U.S.," let's get down and dirty:\nFact: Japanese students routinely score significantly higher on math and science tests than their American counterparts at the elementary, junior high and high school levels. \nFact: Japanese students are in school for 240 days a year. Our students average around 180 days a year in the classroom. That's, like, way less, but I dunno exactly how much less because I was never very good at math.\nFact: Japanese public school teachers get paid nearly the same as Japanese university professors.\nFact: According to the study, no Japanese parents suggested that they would ever decide where to live primarily because of the quality of the public school in the neighborhood. Here in America, we'd prefer to send our children to schools where they have the best chance for a quality education while at the same time not getting stabbed.\nFact: Although Japanese students are not obligated to attend public school after the ninth grade, 97 percent of these students go on to some form of high school.\nOkay, I can see by the drool running down your face that you've had enough data. My question is this: how can I make the students I teach act more Japanese? I mean, they run around the classroom and complain about how much shukudai (homework) they have to do, they always screw up their renshu mondai (practice questions) and act, in general, like dudu (dudu). \nIn all seriousness, it boggles my mind that we have yet to make an honest attempt at copying some of their methods. While it is true we have a much more ethnically diverse population with highly varying values, you cannot tell me that we don't possess the intelligence and creativity necessary to greatly improve our system of public education. \nMaybe it's not plausible to demand that our students spend 1,000 hours per year in the classroom -- The New York Times reported the Japanese Ministry of Education has even taken steps toward giving students more "sunshine time" -- but it is important that we devote both time and money to researching better methods of teaching and learning. \nAnd although I think George W. Bush is a pathetic excuse for a president, I'm obliged to give him credit for (what appear to be) his good intentions in the field of education.\nBoy, I almost sounded like a responsible adult there, didn't I? Scary, I tell you. Whatever your view on this mess, the important thing to remember is that we still have better basketball teams and rock bands than the Japanese. I'm not saying we're cooler than the Japanese or anything, but I'd like to leave you with one final statistic: according to the study I mentioned earlier, it is also true that the vast majority of Japanese high school students went on their first dates at the library! \nUnfortunately, I can't give you a percentage on that one because we never got that far in my high school math class.