Losers of the world unite

It has recently come to my attention that I'm a loser. Apparently it had already come to everybody else's attention, it just took a while for it to get to me.\nIt's really not so bad, at least this way no one has any expectations for me.\nAnything that I do is considered a step up. But I have the feeling I'm not the only loser here.\nThat's right, I see you out there. Sitting in bars by yourself. Maybe feeding the birds and mumbling incoherently, maybe just wandering around asking yourself what in the hell is going on. I feel that pain, you losers are and forever will be, my peeps.\nThere are those of us who are socially awkward, who for whatever reason don't socialize much or dress very nicely, or even have conversations that don't end with some type of litigation being filed. We are the square pegs, and the world is, well, round, or at least that's the rumor; I've got to start watching more PBS. I'm writing this article today so that you won't feel all that alone. I know, it's not always depressing being a loner. It's actually kind of fun being one, but society seems to have no love for us. \nWe don't get invited to parties or sent valentines, or reasonable bail, or any of the good stuff. But at least we can share a quiet brother- and sisterhood; we just can't have any meetings for obvious reasons. I could see the minutes for one of these meetings: "Al spent the first 10 minutes spitting angst, and then we all got drunk and then got sober and then drunk again. Then we ate a cheeseball and went home." Or that's my vision, anyway.\nThere's really no reason for any of us to feel so out of place. The world is full of self-important people who exist only to cut other people down. Don't let them get to you. Don't be fooled by the plaster smiles and the trendy turtlenecks. \nI have found in my 23 years that people aren't necessarily something to be feared -- loathed perhaps, but not feared. Everyone is just trying to get along. Life's a pretty frightening thing, especially if you're a little awkward to begin with. \nSo I say to you backward people of the world, don't worry too much about not fitting in, or feeling depressed, or whatever kind of angst you're into. I see you out there, and I know how it is. Just don't bug me with it, because, let's be honest, my angst is just a little more important than yours.