Hail to the King

He said
Miles to Graceland" is a film that is simultaneously brilliant and putrid, clever yet insipid. Essentially, it's one of the most vibrant near screw-ups ever caught on film. "Graceland" chronicles the misadventures of a gang of thieves (David Arquette, Christian Slater and Bokeem Woodbine) and its two superiors Michael (Kurt Russell) and Murphy (Kevin Costner, sporting pork chop side burns and considerable attitude). The two men met within the confines of a prison cell and upon release conspire to knock off the Riviera casino in Las Vegas. The robbery occurs within the first half hour of the flick and is certainly the highlight of this endeavor. The sequence is laced with a crazed pop sensibility as the hoods don Elvis-style sequined jumpsuits and artillery so massive it would make Ted Nugent blush. Members of the gang drop like flies, and inevitably Michael and Murphy square off for the loot. But complications arise in the form of Cybil (Courteney Cox), a gold-digging hussy with a heart of gold, and her delinquent son aptly named Jesse James (abundantly annoying child actor, David Kaye). Michael beds the broad, assuming it's a one-night stand, but Cybil assumes something completely different and demands that he take her and Jesse en route to the cash. This is far and away the weakest aspect of the flick. The clichéd romantic relationship between Michael and Cybil subsequently leads to a hackneyed father-son relationship between Michael and Jesse. Costner shines as Murphy, a deranged yet infinitely charming sociopath. Russell does good work as Michael, and his Elvis impersonation must be seen to be believed. Interestingly enough, he portrayed the King in the 1979 John Carpenter flick "Elvis." Viewers who yearn to see a midget machine-gunned, or former rapper Ice-T (in nothing more than an extended cameo) hang from a ceiling firing machine guns in either hand as if he were a possessed chandelier, will enjoy the bizarre kicks. "3000 Miles to Graceland" is a campy revisionist western that plays much like a mingling of a direct-to-video Tarantino rip-off and a Jerry Bruckheimer action extravaganza, and in many ways that's not a bad thing.
She said
At the beginning of "3000 Miles to Graceland," director Demian Lichtenstein focuses on the sign for the Last Chance motel. Audiences take note: This is your last chance to leave this movie. Murphy (Kevin Costner) and Michael (Kurt Russell) are ex-cons who, along with three other losers (short cameos by Christian Slater and David Arquette -- looks as if his wife is getting him roles again), disguise themselves as Elvis impersonators and rob a Las Vegas casino in what has to be one of the biggest shoot 'em up scenes on film. But Murphy is greedy and tries to kill the Elvises and take all the money. Michael miraculously survives and manages to escape with the loot. A cross-country chase ensues with a large cat-and-mouse game being played by Murphy and Michael that results in a bloody finale reminiscent of "Pulp Fiction" -- only not as good. Costner is terrible as Murphy, the driven ex-con who believes he is a descendent of the late Elvis Presley. Although he looks strangely comfortable in his mutton chops, large sunglasses and Elvis wear, his homicidal Murphy just doesn't work. Instead of choosing roles that require him to say the f-word more than he has in his entire career, Costner should stick with his romantic comedy roles. For his part, Russell isn't bad, but that's not saying much. Hard when he wants to be, his reformed ex-con is perfectly acted in a terrible script. If I wanted to see Russell be funny in a good B-movie, I would have rented "Big Trouble in Little China" again. Kevin Pollak and Thomas Haden Church (best known as Lowell from "Wings") are also good in their roles as federal marshals. But the rest of the supporting cast, which includes Slater, Arquette, Howie Long and Ice-T, is nothing more than a string of cameo roles, mostly unnotable. The exception would be Jon Lovitz, who is funny as the scared, witless money launderer. Courteney Cox is surprisingly good as a grifter who falls for Michael, and his money, in what turns out to be one hellacious road trip. But she definitely gives females a bad name as she falls out of her dress at every turn and, after telling Michael she isn't easy, the audience is forced to watch the two get it on. As good as she is, Cox is reduced to a piece of eye candy, which pretty much describes the view of women in this movie. The only other female is a woman Costner picks up who doesn't smoke, but "does everything else." Even some of the jokes, one about taking a homeless woman on a date that is not worth the space of repeating, are all derogatory and demeaning toward women. Elvis should be turning over in his grave with the release of "3000 Miles to Graceland." Audiences should stay 3,000 miles from the movie screen.