See Spot Run

I actually verified this -- this movie does have a film editor: Cara Silverman. Bang-up job on "See Spot Run," Cara. This movie was about 90 minutes, but it felt like I decayed in my seat waiting for this banal movie to finally end. Frame after frame showed drawn-out sequences of Spot staring at David Arquette and a Campell soup-cheeked 6-year-old in disbelief at some wacky comment or action. Apparently even he couldn't believe he was sitting through this.\nHere's a simple suggestion for a better movie: Just show dogs. Show them sleeping, show them smiling, show them fetching Frisbees. Dogs are cute. Whining kids, David Arquette and piles of dog doo-doo are not. Unfortunately, that's all we see in "See Spot Run," without exaggeration the worst theater-released movie I've ever seen. (And folks, I've seen "Spice World," "Escape From L.A." and "Johnny Mnemonic.")\nThe crap-splattered movie's only sentient star is Spot, aka Agent 11, an FBI canine veteran renowned for helping stupid FBI agents catch Italian mob boss guy in his bad evil schemes. The doomed pooch hooks up with mailman Arquette, cinema's new wannabe master of physical comedy, and Angus T. Jones, the kid staying with Arquette while his single mommy is away.\nI do not expect family films or comedies to have Oscar-caliber plots. But I do expect them to be somewhat realistic. The child's mother, who keeps her son on short leash, is trapped at the airport because of a blizzard. She can't find ground transportation, and "even cell phones aren't working." Is she at the magnetic North Pole? This was only a lazy device to keep the strict mom away so carefree Arquette and the brat could have wacky adventures with Spot. At another point, Arquette tries to coax an angry dog with a treat. Shouldn't the dog be looking at the bone instead of off-camera at some invisible person? The horrible attention to detail is absolutely embarrassing.\nJones shines as the cute tyke, but only because of his radioactivity. His only purpose in the movie is to attempt a father-son relationship with Arquette, but it's hard to emotionally connect with someone saying "Who farted!" and "What's your daddy like?" in the same breath. Wasn't this supposed to be about dogs?\nThe ending is my absolute favorite and sums up the thoughtlessness of the entire film. The mother, mailman, brat and Spot wind up uniting together at the park. (Sorry to ruin the finale for both of you wanting to see this.) Oops! It's too bad that their apartment complex doesn't allow dogs!