War games not child's play

Our neighbors to the east (or west, if you live in Hawaii) are being silly once again. The Chinese government claims we've violated numerous international laws. Even though they've given us back our soldiers, they are still keeping our spy plane until we apologize, send flowers and promise to give top Chinese officials foot massages for the next 10 years. \nAnd although it has not received as much media coverage, China is also demanding that we give back Connie Chung, Lucy Liu and several other prominent Chinese Americans. \nI can imagine that when asked about these requests Friday at a State Department luncheon, President George W. Bush responded, "That's absurd." After eating a few more bites of his chocolate and turkey sandwich, Bush probably continued (while spitting large chunks of turkey onto Vice President Cheney's suit), "That (President) Jiang is absolutely retarded. Does he think he can treat us this way and still get us in the sack with him -- economically speaking? If so, he's got another thing coming -- namely a Texas-sized foot up his (expletive deleted)!"\nIt is possible I might have gotten some of my facts wrong, but the preceding exchange was meant to prove a point: the tense situation between China and the United States is much like a lover's quarrel. Both countries need each other (all my shoes were made in China -- without China I would be barefoot right now), but neither is willing to admit fault in what was quite possibly a childish game of chicken between two rival militaries. It has become a question of who can go the longest without flinching. \nBecause of the damage to our plane and the fact that the Chinese F-8 is now at the bottom of the South China Sea, we might never be able to prove who was at fault. It is our word against theirs. Our 26-letter alphabet against their alphabet of several thousand characters. But should it even matter whose fault it was? \nNot really.\nWhile the personnel on that U.S. EP-3 spy plane were representatives of our country, they were also acting as individual human beings, capable of tremendous miscalculations and incredible stupidity (like the guy who sued McDonald's after spilling hot coffee in his lap). The same can be said for Chinese pilot Wei Wang (pronounced Wee Wang) and his military outfit. One of the two parties made a mistake and didn't check his blind spot. Big deal. \nThe problem here is that neither world power can look beyond its own pride and see the global ramifications of its actions. In this case, the ramifications could eventually include a war between the world's largest economic power and the world's largest country. Luckily for us we have the height advantage.\nPlaying war games might be tempting for Bush's top-level foreign policy advisors, who almost all come from the Cold-War era. But putting the lives of millions of Chinese and American citizens at stake, all over some bad blood, would be a mind-numbingly tragic mistake. Some things, such as freedom and Britney Spears, are worth fighting for. This is not one of them.\nRegardless of how our leaders handle this mess, it is up to you and me to remain objective in the matter. Don't let patriotic emotions cloud your vision and skew your judgment. Don't think that being an American means you're always on the "right" side of an international conflict. Do look at facts and make up your own mind.\nOnce again I've oversimplified a complex issue -- I didn't even mention the implications of the possible United States sale of arms to Taiwan, another Chinese foe. But many times an issue is more easily understood and solved when it is broken down into its most basic form. In this case, I see two little kids yelling "He started it" at the top of their lungs when all that is needed is an apology from both sides. What do you see?