The Scorpion King - PG-13
Starring: "The Rock," Michael Clarke Duncan
Directed by: Chuck Russell
Showing: Showplace East 11
One person's arched eyebrow (The Rock's patented look when he wows World Wrestling Federation crowds) was not enough to "smell what The Rock was cooking" in "The Scorpion King." The flick provided little entertainment with its predictable and cheesy storyline.
Mathayus (Dwayne Johnson, a.k.a. The Rock) makes a much better professional wrestler than actor. His presence in the wrestling ring is electric. His presence on the big screen leaves you wishing you were electrocuted.
Attempts at showing humor in the movie ruined any chance of the serious plot the movie was trying to convey. Jokes were predictable and with all that predictability came a sense of dissatisfaction.
Arpid (Grant Heslov), who Mathayus leaves for dead at the beginning of the movie, becomes Mathayus' sidekick after saving him from digitally enhanced fire ants that look like they were created with the invention of color TV.
Arpid's "humorous" quips would be better left for the birds. They carried the same style as Brendan Fraser's feable attempts at humor in "The Mummy" series, but at least you could crack a smile in "The Mummy Returns."
Memnon (Steven Brand), the warlord who kills Mathayus' brother, is a bad-boy/bad actor. Mathayus swears revenge on him, and as they battle it out, the scene's style can be best summed-up as having a Nintendo-meets-"The Matrix"-look.
Even accomplished actor Michael Clarke Duncan ("The Green Mile"), who plays Mathayus'arch-nemesis-turned-beer-buddy, plays his most pitiful role to date.
This movie should never have come to a theater near you. The film's first line is "Boo!" for god's sake! If you go see this movie, let it scare you out of the theater.
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