One day before the Oscars, there is a small celebration of all the horrible acting, terrible stories and bigheaded celebrities that disgraced the silver screen each year. These awards are the annual Golden Raspberries, also known as The Razzies.\nLast year I watched the terrible films nominated for "Worst Film of the Year," including "Freddy Got Fingered" and the Mariah Carey bomb "Glitter," possibly the worst the movie ever made, so I could relay why everyone should stay away from these terrible flicks. This year marks the 2nd Annual Mike D'Avria Razzie Special, and these films go far beyond the atrocious schlock of last year.
"Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones"\nNow this movie was pretty good, especially the amazing Yoda lightsaber duel. It's far better than the first, mostly because there was no Jake Lloyd and barely any Jar-Jar. The reason it was nominated was because it was such a hyped-up movie that didn't match the originals, but what does?
"Crossroads"\nBefore it was even released, this Britney adventure was already nominated. It is definitely worthy of a Razzie, but there are some redeeming qualities about this teenage girly road trip. These qualities are: Brittany Spears in a towel, Brittany Spears in a bikini and Brittany Spears in her underwear (more than once). I'm not exactly sure what the film was about, but I would be willing to watch parts of it again.
"Swept Away"\nOne reason this film was nominated was because it doesn't even compare to Guy Ritchie's other two films; the other is because of Mrs. Ritchie, who is better known as Madonna. Other than Madonna's annoying performance, the film isn't that bad; it's just very, very boring. Incredibly boring. It's basically "Cast Away," but it stars an unknown actor with a terrible Italian accent, and the "material girl" herself (sans materials). The one good thing is seeing Madonna get slapped in the mouth and kicked in the pants.
"Pinocchio"\nThough this movie was nominated for a Razzie, I did not see this Roberto Benigni live-action take on the great tale. Instead I will talk about "XXX." This movie was by far the second worst movie of the year, yet Vin Diesel is still getting movie deals. \n "Welcome to the Xander zone!" -- Possibly the worst dialogue ever, and the action scenes were the most implausible pieces of crap ever put on film. It hurts to even think about this movie. What's even more amazing is that there is a film out there worse than this one.
"The Adventures of Pluto Nash"\nAnd the worst movie of the year goes to … Eddie Murphy and his $100 million space epic. The film only grossed $4 million, creating a huge loss, but the surprising thing is that it even made this much. There is not one thing that is good about this movie. I would ask who approved this script, but I don't think they had a script. Please Eddie, stick to movies where you talk to animals or dress in a fat suit. \nSo unless you want to see Miss Spears in a towel or Yoda flipping around, please stay away from these movies. I lost my dignity by watching them so you wouldn't have to.
