Better things to do than watch IU

I had a weird dream the other night.\nI was sitting in this bar in Austin, Texas, drinking with Bob Dole. As if this weren't strange enough, this Indian guru appears on the bar stool next to us. The guru says to me, "You are too negative. You need to live in the positive."\nBut before I can respond, he is gone, and Pauly Shore, who happens to be the bartender, asks if I need another drink.\nAt that point, I woke up. I was pretty sure that the dream was a direct result of eating La Bamba's too close to bedtime. But I got to thinking that it might be some sort of message I was supposed to pay attention to.\nSo instead of focusing on the ills of this Hoosier team, I will look at something positive: there is no game to watch this weekend. And that got me thinking of a litany of other activities that are preferable to watching an IU basketball game.\n-- Watching the movie "Gigli," or any other film nominated for "Worst Picture" in this year's Golden Raspberry Awards. The competition includes such acclaimed favorites as "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle," "The Cat In The Hat," "From Justin to Kelly" and "The Real Cancun". You could even watch fine films that did not receive nominations, like "Boat Trip" and "Dumb and Dumberer."\n-- Alphabetizing your CD collection. It may seem tedious now, but you'll thank me later when you are throwing a kickin' party and you remember exactly where you catalogued that old Hootie & the Blowfish disc.\n-- Attending a curling match. I'm not sure how far you will have to go to find one, but it will be worth the trip to see athletes competing with brooms on ice.\n-- Spending an entire day playing pinball in the Union.\n-- Seeing how long you and your friends can go reciting lines from old Saturday Night Live sketches and if they know which sketch it is. For instance, you might want to start with "I've got a fever, and the only cure is more cowbell."\n-- Inventing your own cocktail. Make sure it is strong enough that watching an IU game will be fun if you only drink one. (This may require moonshine).\n-- Eating a veggie burger. Or glass. Whichever you find tastier. \n-- Taking up a new hobby, such as gardening, stamp collecting or saving your belly button lint in a jar. Or finding the answer to the question "Do people with 'outties' get belly button lint?"\n-- Climbing up the side of Ballantine Hall. I know it seems impossible, much like an IU postseason bid, but it can be done. But if you fall off the side, don't come blaming me for giving you the idea. These people did that a few years ago when there was a Taco Bell commercial that featured Shaq literally "on fire" with the help of special effects. (Obviously they didn't film him shooting free throws). \nAnyway, these kids decided it would be a great idea if they tried lighting themselves on fire and playing basketball. Oddly enough, it wasn't such a bright idea. Naturally, Taco Bell was sued.\n-- Counting the days until the 2004 IU football season kicks off.\nThere, can't you see the power of positive thinking? \nNeither can I.