Teen queen not a scream

Even a healthy dose of vintage-infused Prada can't save Sara Sugarman's latest offering -- in fact, hip fashion sense is about the only thing "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen" has going for it. The basic plot is familiar enough: Lola, a teenage New York City socialite-in-the-making (played by the usually lovely Lindsay Lohan), moves to a New Jersey suburb which is stereotypical in every sense of the word. Lola's prepared to claim her rightful title of the most popular girl in school (like, totally!), and is startled to find out (gasp!) the title's already been taken! What's a red-blooded American girl to do? \nLuckily, our Lola's prepared -- she plans on scoring the lead in an upcoming school play, which, of course, reigning school sweetie Carla Santini (Megan Fox) also covets. Kitschy? Yes. Predicatable? Completely. \nThe plot may hold up well with undiscerning, impressionable adolescent audiences, but if you're over the age of 15, you might have to duck out early (I nearly did). It's shot much in the style of such similar teen blockbusters (cough, cough) as "Jawbreaker" and "Drop Dead Gorgeous;" there's extensive use of long panning shots and personal vignettes and commentary throughout. And, of course, there's the requisite rock star crush, played by the adorable Adam Garcia, and the ultimate moral lesson at the film's conclusion: that even a teenage drama queen has to come back down to Earth once in awhile to see what's really important. (Of course, that would be fashion, boys and friends -- possibly in that order.\nThe movie is flashy, with exquisite young leggy things stylishly clad in colorful, form-fitting clothes no high school principal would likely allow. It's also decidedly unrealistic, though that won't deter the latest wave of tweens from lining up for miles outside suburban movie theatres to catch this bomb.