'Lent' me your ears

We're well into the Lenten season, and while I'm not a Christian, every year I ask myself, "What will I give up this year?" At first I start out with the best intentions. This year, I planned on giving up carbonated drinks because, well, they make me belch. This worked for about six hours until I saw Kroger was having a totally sweet sale on Coke, and I bought two cases.\nFortunately, I had a backup -- just in case I caved on the no-Coke thing. I also abstained from eating chocolate. I held out on this slightly longer -- almost 12 hours -- until my girlfriend came by with a Cadbury Egg. So good.\nI've been a complete and utter failure for this year's Lent, and we're not even two weeks into it. Jesus isn't going to be happy. Then I realized I'm Jewish and I'm really not letting anybody down, except for maybe my arteries and GI tract. That's certainly a convenient little loophole. It should be included in the brochure for Judaism -- "Great Jokes, Eight Days of Presents, No Lent!" \nI don't think there is a brochure for Judaism. (It's not like it's Sea World, or something). I've always been interested in comparative religion, and I consider myself on a nodding acquaintance with Catholicism and other forms of Christianity. I know the Pope gets his own special car and "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" is kind of like the Christian version of "Oy vey!"\nBut I don't know why there is a Lenten season. To help me answer that, I turned to the one thing I know will never lie to me -- the Internet.\nTyping "Lenten season" into www.Google.com and clicking "I Feel Lucky" will take you to Ken Collins' Web site. The pastor of the Garfield Memorial Christian Church in McLean, Va., Rev. Collins told me the 40 days of Lent commemorate Jesus' withdrawal for 40 days into the wilderness. So why do I tell myself not to have unhealthy and delicious foods? Fasting, according to Rev. Collins -- which can be done in many forms -- shows devotion to God and prepares one for Easter.\nAnd all this time I thought Lent was just about belching less. So knowing what I do now -- Lent is the opportunity for Christians to imitate Christ -- I'm wondering if I'm foolhardy for using the season as an opportunity to slow (not stop or reverse) my steady weight gain. Isn't that the same thing as putting up a Christmas tree in my living room during the month of December and saying I just like the smell of pine?\nYes and no. While Lent is a strictly Christian observance, refraining from certain indulgences is not, so the Lent season is a convenient time for me to give it a try. At the very least, I'll be able to commiserate with other people who are trying to do the same thing, but the difference is I can have all the surf & turf I can handle Fridays. There's another item for the brochure. \nSince I've already admitted my failure for this year, this is all really moot. I might as well crack open a Coke and sit down with a box full of Cadbury Eggs. Here's hoping I can do better next year. \nHappy Lent, everyone!