All over but the drinkin'

To enjoy this column to its fullest, I suggest you play a string quintet version of The Beatles' "In My Life" softly in the background. Not only is this my last column, but I am also about to graduate, which means this is going to be so jam-packed with sugary sentimentality there's a good chance you'll end up in a diabetic coma if you read the whole thing in one sitting.\nI can safely say that in the course of the last 15 weeks, I have used my weekly allotted space in the Indiana Daily Student to its emptiest. Not once did I stoke the coals of political discourse, take up arms against any injustices or contribute in the least to the community through my words.\nI would be remiss as an upperclassman if I published nearly 10,000 words without making any effort to impart some of the wisdom I've accrued during my four years in Bloomington. Here now, suitable for framing, are my words to live by in Bloomington.\nGo to your professors' office hours, even if you have nothing to say. Building a rapport with your professor can take you a long way. It's something I wish I had done more. Professors enjoy the visit because they like the company and the chance to find out what the outside world is like. Also, someday you will need references and letters of recommendation. Wouldn't it be nice not to have to reach back into your high school rolodex when you're a junior in college?\nProfessor first, reading list second. Talk to other people in your major to find out who the good professors are. Without a doubt, the person teaching the course can make all the difference in the world. The best English course I ever took was devoted entirely to Milton. Trying to read "Paradise Lost" for the sheer pleasure of it will make you seriously question what diseased mind could derive pleasure from it. Now, imagine reading his "lesser works." But thanks to Professor Peter Lindenbaum's relaxed style and engaging questions, I actually enjoyed thinking about Milton's "Doctrine on Divorce."\nGo to the Musical Arts Center. Only on a college campus will you find a place where you can get opera tickets for $10 and go to the symphony for free. The décor of the MAC plays host to more musical events than you can shake a conductor's baton at, so between a performance of La Bohème and Monday night's MAC Jazz Series, you're bound to find something you'll enjoy. It also gives you a reason to dress up, and your date will think you're oh-so-refined for patronizing the theater (pronounced THEE-uh-tah). \nPlay intramural sports. Everything has an intramural sport. The guys I live with formed an intramural dodgeball team. Dodgeball! Naturally, the fraternities are well-represented in an event like this. If ever there was a chance to get revenge for the days when you were the skinny kid in eighth-grade gym getting pulverized in your nether regions by the bigger kids, this is it. Suffice it to say, there is nothing like the joy you receive from pelting some meathead in dodgeball as a grown person, which lasts for about two seconds before your nether regions get pulverized by his teammates. It's fun, trust me.\nSee, I told you this would be corny. I guess that's what happens when I write 14 columns about television and doing laundry. I've had such a good time during these last four years that it's hard to say I have regrets, except maybe not finishing my beer wheel at Crazy Horse. Wait, I just gave myself an idea for how to spend my finals week. Cheers.