Cedric's 'Johnson' flops

Go ahead, accuse me of breaking what has to be the cardinal rule of reviewing a movie. Come on, really. Tell me that I shouldn't have walked out before "Johnson Family Vacation" ended and tell me that, as such, I have no business discussing it in a public forum. You know what I think? That damn movie had no business wasting such a beautiful Saturday night. \nSit there and think about it for a second. What were you doing this past Saturday night? Porches? Frisbees? Beers? BBQs? Well, you know what I did? I watched Cedric the Entertainer pile his family of music industry detritus -- Vanessa Williams, Bow Wow (who's still "Lil" in my book) and Solange Knowles -- into a pimped-out Lincoln Navigator and drive from California to Missouri. \nGuess what? All sorts of wacky antics ensue. Ha, ha, ha. Bow Wow pees in a cup and Cedric almost drinks it. Ha, ha, ha. He throws the cup out of the window and it hits a cop on a motorcycle. Ha, ha, ha. They get thrown in jail and Williams gets them out by doing the cop's taxes. Get it? That's funny. She's Vanessa Williams and it's funny if she doesn't do the cop "favors" but instead uses her seductive accounting powers. The whole movie is like this.\nAs I am to understand it, the Johnson's were eventually going to make it to their family reunion in Missouri. Steve Harvey was waiting there -- which means a couple good laughs between two of the "Kings of Comedy" were fairly likely. But you know what? There is no way in hell it was worth waiting for. \nSure. I walked out. I didn't see what happened in Missouri. But come on, do you think that I needed to? The troubled family makes up and drives back to California -- lessons learned, hearts salved. I wasn't going to sit through the comedic equivalent of a puppy snuff film to see Cedric the Entertainer make up with Harvey and out with Williams. I made it 70 minutes. I'm being a coarse, incensed and callous bastard. But I don't care. You wouldn't make me sit though an entire puppy snuff film to tell you that it's a bad idea to watch it, would you?