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Wednesday, Dec. 4
The Indiana Daily Student

More 'Yards' does not a movie make

I'll preface my comments with this qualifying statement: almost immediately upon settling in my comfy seat at Showplace Cinemas in Evansville this Easter, I wanted to leave. \nI'd liked "The Whole Nine Yards" all right, I suppose -- I laughed sporadically at Matthew Perry's slapstick genius (said emphatically and with sarcasm, of course), and wondered why in the hell we had to see Amanda Peet's breasts. \nThe original hardly warranted a sequel, and what followed, the cleverly-dubbed "The Whole Ten Yards," equally fails to impress. The story follows Lazlo Gogolak, played by Kevin Pollack, in his quest for revenge following the murder of his son, Janni (also played by Pollack in the original). He kidnaps Perry's character's wife, Cynthia (Natasha Henstridge), believing Perry can lead him to Mob hitman Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski (Bruce Willis). Hilarity ensues. \nThere are a few funny moments, but sadly, none spring to mind. The plot, incohesive and predictable, fails to deliver any real sort of resolution, save for a few laughs at the expense of luckless dentist Oz (Perry). It's a shame, really: Peet, Willis and Perry are all funny people, but seem to make odd decisions in accepting film roles. To top it off, this gem's rated PG-13, which means no frontal Peet nudity for you voyeurs out there. \nWait till this one comes out on DVD -- it'll make a nice coaster.

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