My last column (really)

I talked with my paternal grandmother about my upcoming graduation and she told me an interesting fact -- as far as she knows, I am the first person in that family to graduate from college.\nIt was hard to believe that the Lyle family had to wait so long to see a kid stand up and wave while wearing a mortar and gown. It's like we finally paid back the loan my family took out on the American dream. This really put some perspective on my college career.\nTo be quite honest, if I could go back and do it all over again, I would.\nI'd go back and study more, because if I had a 3.8 instead of a 3.2, I'd put it on my resume. I'd re-join the marching band, because my trumpet skills would be better now if I had stayed then. If I could go back, I'd work to get a full scholarship instead of a collection of small ones, because the less you worry about money, the more fun you have -- and the fewer jobs you have to work, which means more time for study/fun.\nIf I could get a collegiate do-over, I'd take it. But we all know that unless I'm cast in the movie "Old School 2 -- Old Man, New Frosh," that will never happen.\nPerhaps it's selfish of me to want to re-live this life. I mean, my grandmother has been waiting for nearly 80 years for someone to graduate from a university. I shouldn't keep her waiting, but a small part of me doesn't want to leave. It all feels unfinished.\nWriting columns for the IDS has given me an unexpected bit of modest fame. On random days at random times a passer-by will walk up to me, point, and say, "Hey, you're that guy in the paper!" Who wouldn't miss that? The face recognition has never gotten me any free food, but it's still nice to know someone takes time to glance at your work. It fills my egotistical gas tank.\nBut a full tank of ego still isn't enough. In a month when I'm out in the big city working for a mega corporation, I'll have to be the new anonymous kid again.\nThere are things here that are still unfinished. If I could go back, I would connect with more people, know more about my friends; let my friends know more about me. I'd go to more parties, sing more stupid karaoke, take more pictures and actually attempt to down an AMF. If I could go back, I'd steal a few more unexpected kisses, hold her hand longer and know that as much as I enjoyed her company, she enjoyed mine too.\nIf I had more time, I would properly thank all the people who've helped me. Some people did favors. Some people gave me gifts both real and intangible. A few people made me comfortable enough to call them "friend." I constantly commit the crime of thinking too hard, strangling myself with introspection. Without the people who pulled me out of my own devices, I would have gone through college jaded and lonely.\nThere isn't enough time in the day or space in this newspaper to say what I really want to say. So maybe, one day, I'll show it.\nThen, they'll hand me a Pulitzer, right?