So long, sweet summer

It might be hard to believe as you walk to class drenched in sweat, but summer is over. How sweet it was ...\nI thought about going to Aruba with some friends, or taking a cruise with the girlfriend that I don't have or going fishing off the coast of California by myself. But after watching several cable news programs I thought better of it and stayed within a 50-mile radius of my house all summer. \nThat, and I had a court ordered ankle bracelet. Actually it was just a friendship bracelet, but it was still rather constricting.\nI also thought about getting a job. Unfortunately, my possible employers didn't think that would be a good idea for various reasons. The Gap, for one, wouldn't hire me because I lacked a "passion for fashion." If flannel shirts, corduroys and New Balances don't shout "passion for fashion," what does?\nBasically this summer I slept, occasionally mowed the lawn, had a few beers and walked to Wal-Mart for some extreme motorized cart races.\nAlso, I saw nearly every movie released this summer, except for "War of the Worlds." Occasionally I'd stand outside the theater, jump up and down and yell at the people going in, "I love this movie! I love this movie so much!" Though, as nearly 63 percent of the moviegoers thought, it was just a publicity stunt. I didn't actually love that movie.\nWith a lot of time on my hands I spent a "little" time on the Internet. Those of you without online journals, like myself, most likely think people with them are pathetic, needy and slightly creepier than your reclusive neighbor with 9 cats. I'm not here to dispel any rumors. \nBut the only thing creepier than an online journal is probably the guy who leaves random comments. It seems innocent at first, but the comments slowly spiral out of control into religiously checking half a dozen journals per day. Perhaps this guy even creates an online journal under an alias, with fake entries, just to make his random comments slightly more credible. \nNot that I know anything about that sort of thing.\nOther highlights of my summer included a third-place finish in an old man basketball league. The ass slapping and camaraderie was aplenty. \nI won a free T-shirt for eating 12 "Blazin" wings in less than six minutes at Buffalo Wild Wings. But as economics taught us, there's no such thing as a free lunch, or a free T-shirt. My posterior burned for days. \nThe most fun was probably going to the zoo with my mom and 4-year-old sister. We saw one kangaroo struggling to free herself after another kangaroo violently attacked her from behind. Also, we saw a five-legged hippo. Which is apparently where the African phrase "hung like a river-horse" comes from. It literally touched the ground.\nWell, that was my summer. I'd ask how yours was, but I really just don't care and have a feeling it wasn't nearly as interesting as mine.