Aw, just bucket

Has there been a more important game to a more insignificant season of Hoosier football?\nNot for coach Terry Hoeppner. He has already had his share of perfect Thursdays followed by predictable Saturdays -- mostly resulting in a 1-6 conference record. \nFirst, coach Hep wanted YOU. And all you wanted to do was tailgate, shotgun a beer and lick the side of a girl's face. \nThen, coach Hep wanted the Big Ten. The conference gave him and the Hoosiers such a beatdown to the ground, he is still brushing dirt off his shoulders. \nNow, coach Hep wants the Bucket. Here lies his latest and greatest challenge. A five-game losing streak and one public relations nightmare involving a GOP fund raiser later, the Hoosiers face a Purdue team that is not good. \nHow do I know it's not good? Because it has the same record as IU. At 4-6, both teams will vie for the Old Oaken Bucket Saturday. In my opinion, having a bucket as a trophy makes about as much sense as Stevie Wonder behind the wheel of a moving car, but then again, that is why I'm not from Indiana. \nIndiana and Purdue created the Old Oaken Bucket in 1925. They both established a committee for the creation of a trophy awarded to the winner of the rivalry series. The irony is that once the committee members found and furnished the Bucket for its first appearance in 1925, the game ended in a 0-0 tie. \nAnd IU has had as much success winning the Bucket as I have trying to pick up women at Kilroy's by using the line, "Hey baby girl -- how do you like to 'Play' it?" \nIn the overall series, Purdue has a 66-35-6 advantage. Since the rivalry's inception, the Hoosiers have had a 35 percent success rate in Memorial Stadium. In the last 10 years, IU has won the Bucket twice. The Hoosiers have only won one decade series of football games against Purdue since the origin of the Bucket ... and here's a hint at what decade: Think World War II.\nIf over the century the Boilermakers have been a round table of finely skilled knights, then the Hoosiers are a handful of farmers with pitchforks. While they are always better than us, this year Purdue has been dealt several chinks to its shiny armor. \nStill, Purdue has won its last two games by an average margin of 21 points. On the other hand, IU has lost its last five games by an average of 25 points. \nFact is, Purdue is not good this season, and if IU loses to them Saturday, then we are no better than we were last year. OK, that is not true. We would be one win better than last year. But did you buy into a publicity charade that would make Terrell Owens blush so you could brag about beating Nicholls State in September? Me neither. \nIf we can't beat them now, will we ever be able to beat them?\nHey coach Hep! I want YOU ... to beat Purdue.