I'm waiting to be impressed

I 'm issuing a challenge right now. If the Hoosiers want to impress me in their opening game tonight against Nicholls State, they have to accomplish a few easy tasks. In a matchup like this one, winning simply isn't enough. When you're playing a tiny school that happened to go 6-21 last year while playing in the Southland Conference, you need to make a statement. Nicholls State's football team came to Bloomington in early September and nearly pulled one of the biggest (and most embarrassing) upsets in school history. But luckily you can't run the triple option in basketball, so I think we're OK. \nWith that said, here's the list of things the Hoosiers must accomplish for me to leave tonight's game impressed.\n1. Ben Allen, Sean Kline and Cem Dinc need to combine for at least 15 points and 10 rebounds. These guys need to start performing and show they can fill the rather large void left by D.J. White's absence. With tougher competition ahead, they need to get used to contributing regularly. After all, Marco Killingsworth can't be expected to carry the team by himself while everyone else plays below expectations. Translation: he can't be turned into Alex Rodriguez while the rest of the team is the 2005 Yankees. \n2. Out-rebound the Colonels in both halves. The Hoosiers need to prove they can rebound with anyone, and tonight's game shouldn't be too tough. With teams like Duke, Michigan State and UConn on the schedule, IU needs to make sure they limit their opponent's second-chance opportunities. Or, like Paris Hilton, they'll be letting guys score way too easily. \n3. Keep Nicholls State out of the double-bonus in both halves. When you are far more talented than the other team, there is no need to pick up stupid fouls and give up free throws. The Hoosiers need to get used to guarding without fouling, playing defense with their feet and not their hands and helping each other when needed. Duke gets more cheap calls than any team in the country, and if the Hoosiers aren't prepared, they could be free thrown right out of the game Nov. 30.\n4. Score at least 80 points. The Hoosier guards need to push the ball up the floor and get easy buckets in transition. Earl "X-button" Calloway (that's speed burst on the PS2) is the fastest guard IU has had in years, and along with Lewis Monroe, is the key to the transition game. If the Hoosiers can get easy buckets off the fast break, this game could be over early, allowing coach Davis to pull his starters and keep everyone healthy. And avoid an Eagles-esque meltdown. \n5. Show me the reserves. My new buddy Adam Ahlfeld needs to get at least five minutes of playing time. After hitting his first career three-point basket in the Hoosiers' last exhibition game, I think we all want to see Ahlfeld get some regular season minutes right away. When Davis puts him in, the fans will know the game is pretty well in hand. He's sort of like the world's largest victory cigar. So come on guys, put this one away early so Ahlfeld can get in and the crowd can go crazy.\nSo guys, you've got my list. Start this season out on the right foot. It's a home game and the campus is buzzing with excitement for the start of this year. Now go out there and impress me.