How the Internet jumped the shark

Do you remember the television show "Punky Brewster?" Have you ever wondered what it would be like if good ol' Punky grew up and became a doctor, only to be forced to come to terms with the death of her old neighbor Betty Johnson? \nBreathe a sigh of relief if you answered no. You exist safely within the apathetic majority. However, should you ever change your mind, there's a whole community of people ready to welcome you into their world with open arms.\nWelcome to the world of online fan fiction. Whether it's "Star Trek," "Growing Pains" or "Airwolf," nearly every show -- popular or obscure -- has its devotees. Fan fiction is a well-established Internet trend in which amateur writers borrow characters from popular culture and introduce them to new experiences and adventures. \nFan fiction isn't relegated to only television, either. Its domain includes books, movies, cartoons and games. In fact, a character or plot idea can be snatched from nearly any entertainment medium. Artistic talent is not a requirement. Like digital Frankenstein monsters, many fan fiction stories are eerie constructs of spelling mistakes and sentence fragments tentatively stitched together with grammatical errors.\nThings turn even scarier when you throw the term "erotic" into the mix. Dreamt-up accounts of sexual exploits between Harry Potter and his companions are an all too common theme. One needs look no further than www.restrictedsection.org, whose Web site proclaims, "In the wake of www.fanfiction.net's decision to remove all NC-17 content, a group of Harry Potter fan fiction authors decided to open a new archive devoted to adult Potterfic." \nThere is even fan fiction for "Turbo Teen," a cartoon about a teenager who turns into a car whenever he is exposed to heat. To become human again, he has to cool down. Let's put this in perspective: "Turbo Teen" aired in 1984 and managed to stick around for all of 12 episodes -- not exactly what qualifies a show as mainstream. Let me emphasize, this is not a show that pushed the limits of imagination or animation technology.\nFast forward 22 years and log onto www.fanfiction.net. \nThere we discover two stories by the same author, together totaling 12,652 words. A quick Google search brings up yet another Turbo Teen story at www.fantasykat.com/fanficshow.html -- a 14,126 word two-parter, which would come to around 40 double-spaced pages on paper. \nAccording to www.testedok.com, "The average Web surfer comes in at around 30 words (typed) per minute, at a peak," so we can make an educated guess that these two authors have invested a bare minimum of seven hours apiece into producing "Teen Turbo" fan fiction.\nThink about how much time you spent writing your last class paper, and then imagine investing that same time into writing speculative fiction about an obscure children's show from the mid-80s, and maybe you'll see where I'm going with this.\nThen again, my search for tales of adventure featuring "Perfect Stranger's" Balki Bartokomous revealed a wasteland devoid of fan fiction, so there must be at least some sense of decency inherent among fan fiction enthusiasts.