Cucumbers, zucchinis, bananas

Who says that fruits and vegetables aren't "manly?" My regular trips to the produce section reveal plenty of phallic veggies that are more "man" than I've ever encountered. But apparently my decision not to eat meat makes me a girly-man -- at least if you believe some recent commercials.\nAn ad for some quadruple-Texas-barbeque-burger-with-extra-bacon features extremely manly men singing in bass voices, "I'm a man! And I eat meat!" Burly, caricaturized men gruffly romp through the city streets and give one another hearty slaps on the back in their quest for grilled masculinity on a bun. (No doubt you can order that burger with extra machismo sauce or request additional testosterone on the side.)\nAnother commercial features four men who raise their forks one-by-one and, with the most Neanderthal-ish grunts, declare the contents of their tough guy meals: "RIBS ... BEEF ... PORK" until the fourth guy raises a broccoli floret: "VEGETABLE MEDLEY." The table freezes and disapproving eyes turn to the freak who doesn't eat meat. Veggie-boy quickly corrects himself grunting, "SAUSAGE" -- order is restored at the table.\nThese commercials tap into a ridiculous cultural belief that links meat with hyper-masculinity. I guess it goes back to the whole pre-civilization "hunter / gatherer" role for men. But today, what's so manly about ordering a chunk of meat at the nearest fast food joint that came from some mass-produced, hormone-injected animal that probably spent its entire life confined to a tiny cell with no natural light? Does picking up a slab of beef from the butcher (that neither person had any hand in slaughtering) really make a guy more masculine?\nThis unhealthy ideal of hyper-masculinity linked to eating meat is a completely illogical connection implanted in our cultural consciousness. These commercials provide faulty, questionable instructions on how "real" men behave, which complement all the other stupid rules we learn: "real men" play sports, drink beer, don't cry, (insert a thousand other appropriate "man" behaviors). And the unstated, obvious implications that men who do not eat meat are somehow more feminine, should be looked down upon and will never measure up also feed into the rigid rules of gender (and sexuality) that so many people refuse to question. Unfortunately, these rules start from day one. My sister is pregnant with my future nephew and has lamented that it is impossible to find little boy clothes that aren't blue with footballs, trucks or trains.\nSo where do I fit into the "rules" -- a vegetarian, gay man who loves sports (especially football and basketball), cries at movies (but not in public) and refuses to ask directions? \nCorrect answer: Who cares? \nRather than accepting the "rules" and pegging people into the proper side of the masculine/feminine binary, we ought to question the rules and let people define their own behaviors and identities. The unattainable myths of "real" men and women create strife and discrimination. Real PEOPLE don't establish and accept narrow rules of behavior that confine and regulate one another and limit who we might become.