Contracting contract disease

During the Yankees-Tigers game Saturday, a comment made by play-by-play announcer Josh Lewin caught my attention. He made an interesting comparison between the ongoing game and the movie "Dodgeball.\nLewin likened the Tigers to the Average Joes and the Yankees to Globo Gym. Oh, let the comparisons run deeper, I say! In my mind, George Steinbrenner is like White Goodman -- he straps on his shiny shoes for wooing clients, propositioning them with money, pinstripes and an inflatable bulge in his 76-year-old pants. Joe Torre would be Me'Shell, far from a fitness guru but, nonetheless, fit to play the digestively problematic "yes" man. Who wouldn't pay to see Steinbrenner in a white jumpsuit hop on a Torre-driven scooter giving onlookers the finger? Priceless.\nIt seems to ring true though because even with all the Blades, and the Lasers and the Blazers, the Bronx Bombers still couldn't get it done. \nBut before I digress, Lewin got me thinking: Who does Alex Rodriguez measure up to? I'd say he's like the ugly Russian chick with the unibrow: full of talent and emotionally fragile. Except A-Rod didn't fall in love with some tweak who couldn't do simple addition. His love was with dollars -- 252 million of them, to be exact.\nIf John Hicks approached me in 2000 offering me $252 million over 10 years, I would sign over my soul, which A-Rod might have also done. He gave up humility and inherited responsibility. He is accountable for every out, every error and every runner left on base. He can't hide behind the name on the front because the one on the back stands out with big, luminous bulbs, and all anyone sees is dollar signs.\nWithout beating around the bush, A-Rod is screwing up his wondrous talents and gifts by trying to outperform his contract. And someone should tell Mr. Rodriguez that he will never live up to a piece of paper that will forever tarnish his reputation as the most overpaid athlete on the face of this earth. More importantly, someone should notify No. 13 that he is not the first person to stain his legacy with the dollar sign, nor will he be the last.\nStarting in 1977, Wayne Garland signed a 10-year contract with the Cleveland Indians following a 20-win season with Baltimore. During his first year with the Indians, he led the league in losses. The following season, he had to have surgery for a rotator cuff tear. Garland never had another winning season, and the man is forever associated with the ills of long-term contracts. \nYou want to talk contracts? How about a contract and a draft status colliding for an awful career. Yes, I'm talking about Ryan Leaf. His signing bonus was at the time a record. And, Colts fans, aren't you happy they took Peyton? \nIn another borough of New York, the NHL's Islanders laid two goose eggs. First, they signed Ottawa exile Alexei Yashin to a 10-year contract while watching the Islanders flounder under his captaincy. And recently, Charles Wang, owner of the Islanders, gave goaltender Rick DiPietro a 15-year contract. It's funny because if DiPietro suffers a career-ending injury, he will be paid in full. If he is released because he's terrible, he will be paid in full.\nBut that seems to be it, right? The outrageous contracts are also the owners' fault. These athletes try to reach standards that dollars establish, and in the end, no one can live up to it. If A-Rod was on Average Joe's, he'd get as much flack for not lifting the team to the next level as he did in Texas. It's an unfair situation.\nAnd still, long-term contracts bring more failure than success. I should start a motivational speaking tour for prima donna athletes on how to cope with large incomes and small success.\nHere's the take-home message: Go play the game like it is still a game and not a job.