Always a cynic, never a bride?

I'm officially old. My friend Caitlin became the first of my friends to get engaged, and with that diamond, she made me old. \nDon't get me wrong. I'm thrilled. This past weekend, I attended a bridal sleepover, or a wedding pep rally, if you will. Caitlin's closest friends from home all gathered at our friend Sarah's house for smores, champagne, girl talk and "The Wedding Planner." And in the middle of this sleepover, I distinctly remember confessing, in spite of myself, "This is the most exciting thing ever!"\nMost girls have been planning weddings their whole lives. I am no exception. I played Perfect Wedding tirelessly and Barbie and Allen (better than Ken because his head moved with greater freedom for the part when they kiss) got married at least 36 times in my basement alone. As a girl, you dream about planning your wedding: the dress, the bridesmaids, the flowers, the cake, the music. And, like most, I always planned on having a real wedding of my own to plan someday.\nAmong all of this pre-wedded bliss at the sleepover, though, my friend Sarah and I, comprising the single-girl contingent, found ourselves not engaged or engaged-to-be-engaged like the other girls. As Sarah and I had our own side conversation about wedding venues, I was struck by a flash of genius. I applied the fail-safe Field of Dreams theory to marriage. While Sarah and I might not have fiances yet, it shouldn't stop us from the fun of planning. After all, I theorized, "If you plan it, he will come." \nIf this theory would work at all, Sarah and I posited that she and I would be engaged sometime between the first and second cake tasting.\nWe laughed for about five minutes, and we informed our friends of our ingenious plan, to which they responded, "You don't actually believe that, do you?"\nDuh. Of course not. But it's awfully funny to think about. Picture it: me, Sarah, two wedding dresses, a lot of champagne and no grooms. Phenomenal.\nWhat if it were true, though? I can't imagine actually doing it. Maybe I'm strange, but I think most ladies my age would agree that a wedding without a marriage would be ideal. I'm not ready to be that responsible yet. I can't even decide what shirt to wear in the morning without trying on seven of them, and even then, sometimes I change midday. How can I be expected to handle something like, "'Til death do us part?" \nAs all these thoughts ran through my head, I heard Caitlin mention the guests to be invited to the wedding. She said there would be a limited number of guests to be invited with a date. However, being a part of the wedding (I'm going to be the wedding singer, believe it or not), for the first time in my life, I have been invited plus one. And Jess plus one, not married to one, sounds pretty good to me.