Girls can play a lot of angles. There's the blond angle. There's the twin angle. There's the damsel-in-distress angle. There's the good-girl angle. There's the bad-girl angle.
But the one angle that trumps them all is the British angle. And let me tell you this: British girls have game.
Some of you might not be aware of this, but the theater department has been invaded by a group of six really fun British girls. A few of them have become particularly good friends of mine this semester and, I must say, I have learned from them that there is an element of magic inherent in being foreign.
As an objective observer, I have seen them in action. I have seen their game. In essence, given that a female is usually baller to begin with, being British increases the baller potential by at least a factor of 10.
First and foremost, there's the accent. British accents sound much cooler than American ones and, strangely enough, much smarter, too. Nothing will identify a female as being interesting as quickly and decidedly as a British accent. In addition to this, they use cool words and phrases like "rubbish" to mean "crap," "snogging" to mean "kissing," "taking the piss" to mean "pulling your leg," and "pissed off your tits" to mean "considerably inebriated."
Some confusion occurred for these girls with the casual use of the word "fanny." Here in the United States, we use the word in reference to a person's rear end, but on the other side of the pond, it's a very vulgar term for a woman's, er, even more private parts.
Second, British girls have the mysticism and exoticism that only the foreign can possess. There is a sense of mystery that cannot be replicated. And, for another thing, when I say something awkward, everyone assumes I should know better. And I do. But stupid and inappropriate things still fall from my mouth at a rapid rate. However, when this same fate befalls my British friends -- and believe you me, it has -- they blame it on different customs, different social rules. People buy it and buy it happily. And with that little excuse, crisis is averted. I always have to prove my normalcy, sanity, etc., or just avoid the person for the rest of my life. And all because I should be aware of the social rules.
Now, granted, they do have to put up with a lot of rubbish. They are forced to endure the miserable British accents of would-be Hugh Grants and Colin Firths who think they are laying it down pretty smooth for a chance at some overseas tail. There is also the ever-popular, "You're from England? I know someone from England. Do you know (insert random name here)?" Of course not. For future reference, if you meet someone from another country, don't do this.
Despite all that, one thing is sure. In my next life, I'm coming back British, if for no other reason than their cool spellings.
