ONLINE ONLY: Trans fat heads

It always makes me laugh when the American people, some of the most overweight on Earth, act like they're doing something proactive in the fight against obesity and the health problems that are associated with it. \nMagazines and newspapers follow one after the other with the latest trend in pseudo-nutritional and health care advice, working the ignorant masses into a panicked frenzy about dying from clogged arteries or how their hearts will explode and/or implode if they don't follow the latest up-to-date "medical," "scientifically proven" information. \nCutting carbs was so last season, darling -- the new evil is trans fats, duh! I don't think it took more than a week or two after the flurry of bad media coverage for food-producing companies to start packaging their products in wrappers that boldly state in yellow or orange "Zero Grams Trans Fat!" \nI doubt most people know, or ever will know, what trans fats are, but I'm almost positive it really doesn't matter. It just makes them feel psychologically better about themselves to buy something that claims it has zero grams of something bad. Ah, I can eat my crispy fried lard puffs in peace knowing that they have zero grams of trans fat. \nHow many people watched the vomit-inducing movie "Super Size Me" and squirmed in their seats? I'm sure hundreds of thousands vowed, en masse, never again to eat at those delicious dungeons of doom known as fast-food restaurants. Well-intentioned as they must have been, though, I'm also sure the majority of those people went back to their fast-food regimens within a few weeks. And I bet the long respite from the tasty trans-fatty treats made them extra enthusiastic, chomping down on their Big Macs with the excitement of beavers let loose in a furniture store. \nMy favorite attempt at pseudo-health consciousness, however, are the lawsuits obese people file against fast-food chains. These people, such as the man involved in a 2002 lawsuit against McDonald's, Wendy's, Burger King and KFC, claim that fast-food restaurants are responsible for their obesity and weight-related health problems. \nThey claim that fast-food restaurants are deceptive in their nutritional information, create cravings that lead to addictions and don't have enough healthy options on their menus. \nAnybody with an ounce of common sense knows that daily consumption of fast food will lead you to become overweight and develop health problems. The nutritional information -- either available on request or posted on the wall of the establishment -- is always clear about the fact that you're definitely eating something with 37 grams of fat and 700 calories.\nNobody forces anyone to go eat at a fast-food restaurant; it's a choice. People are personally responsible for their health, and they could order salads and skip the dressing. \nLastly, I for one, am sick of reading headlines like "Breakthrough in Weight Loss," followed by something about a magical pill or tea or some ancient secret from Tibet being the key to a healthy lifestyle. \nBreaking News! New study shows that eating better keeps you from being obese!