ONLINE ONLY: Weathering the Weather Channel

The other night, it was storming heavily and, for a short time, I wondered if Bloomington was going to have a repeat of last November when we had two tornadoes. As I was worrying about whether I would soon be homeless, I decided to check out The Weather Channel. The only problem was instead of getting some kind of weather report, I found a program called "Animal Storm Stories." The show chronicles the unsung heroes of natural disasters: animals. \nDon't get me wrong. I love animals, and I think that having a show paying tribute to some of their heroic work in natural disasters is a great thing. But since the station calls itself The Weather Channel, I would at least expect to get some damn weather information when I turn to the channel -- especially if there is a bad storm in my area. I know they can't cover everything going on in the nation at once, but hell, they could at least try. They didn't even have a ticker at the bottom of the screen!\nIf The Weather Channel wants to have shows on its station not related to the type of coverage its name suggests, it should follow the examples set by MTV and ESPN: Make a Weather Channel 2. Then you could put whatever you wanted on it and people wouldn't have their expectations unmet. MTV, for example, doesn't even have real music, just junk. But now there's MTV2, which is kind of like a storage facility for MTV's junk. An equally good example of bad channel sequels is ESPN. While there might still be sports coverage on the regular channel, ESPN2 has things like the "World Series of Poker." It doesn't get more athletic than a bunch of losers playing cards. They could even make it an Olympic sport, so long as each player gets a gun and a knife because that's how it would be in a real game of poker with that kind of money involved.\nWhat kind of world do we live in when you can't even trust The Weather Channel to give you the weather? I guess watching The Weather Channel and expecting to get the weather is about as naive as watching CNN or Fox and expecting to get actual news. \nAnother program on The Weather Channel is called "Storm Stories." This show is about people telling real-life stories of bad storms. How about you give me a real storm story, Weather Channel: the one that's going on outside. If I want to see storm stories, I can watch the movie "Twister" or one of those storm-chaser shows. \nI'm sure The Weather Channel is just trying to boost its ratings a little bit. I mean, the channel is synonymous with boring. But weather is what it's supposed to cover. I just hope the next storm leaks rain through the studio ceiling and messes up its fake-looking weather girl's hair.