Poll dancin'

On Oct. 23, the Indiana Daily Student reported that, in the last nonpresidential election, out of 1,281 registered voters in the entirely on-campus Bloomington Five district, only 17 people turned out. Now, the district's large proportion of nonresidents certainly limits the number -- but just 17? Something needs to be done. We can no longer tolerate the apathy our fellow Hoosiers seem to display. Although voting is important and should be done by each and every student without enticement, a call for incentives might be in order.\nOur first idea was the treatment of the polls as a blood drive. Parallel to the care that blood donors receive, each student would be given a complimentary sticker that says "Be nice to me, I voted today!" plus a juice box and a banana. They would then be told to sit down for a little while in order to give their bodies time to adjust. This year, that might take longer than usual.\nNext we entertained the thought of having Pizza Express sponsor the event. Voters gets free condoms thrown at them by the one and only Expressman. If the blood drive-like sticker was not enough to entice the student, perhaps a button that says "I get it (well-informed, objective political news) every night" would suffice.\nOur third idea included three baseballs, an overly large target, a tub of water and Purdue Pete. Each voter gets three chances to dunk the ol' Boilermaker mascot himself. Not a good shot? Don't worry. Even if students missed with the baseballs, they would be allowed to run up and hit the target anyway -- doing your civic duty should have its reward. After dunking Pete, the Hoosier would be allowed up to six minutes of heckling -- 12 if Purdue wins the Old Oaken Bucket.\nWith recent news about BYOB parties, the idea of handing out wristbands that would admit students to consume beer at frat houses crossed our minds. Then we remembered these wristbands were only for the 21 and older crowd. What incentive could we offer to the under-21s? Taking a cue from Colonial-era elections, we could just get them a keg ... of root beer, of course! Yeah, root beer ...\nOur final idea included IU's own Coach Hep. We would run numerous ads featuring him urging the students to meet him at the polls. After the students were done voting, they would be able to pick up their T-shirts signed by him that say "Coach Hep got me ... to vote!" If he can breathe life into Indiana's defense, he can do anything. \nEven though we know our ideas were nothing short of incredible, we really shouldn't have to offer incentives to get you to vote. We at the editorial board take voting very seriously and believe students should contribute to the democratic process without being bribed -- you're citizens (mostly), make those politicians work for you. \nNow, come Nov. 7, get out there and vote!