Remembering Jill

The sentencing hearing in the case of the State of Indiana v. John Myers II is Friday. Myers, 31, of Ellettsville, was found guilty Oct. 30 for the 2000 murder of IU sophomore Jill Behrman. Myers faces 45 to 65 years in prison for the crime. The Indiana Daily Student sat down with Jill's parents, Eric and Marilyn Behrman, after the trial to discuss their reaction to the end of the long process.\nIn one childhood photograph, Jill Kristen Behrman, wearing a pale blue dress with white flowers, black patent leather Mary Janes and knee-high white socks, grins avidly from her seat beside the Christmas tree, her arms barely wrapped around the family cat, Tigger. With his ears flattened and back claws out, Tigger looks none too pleased about the situation.\nFor Jill's parents, Eric and Marilyn Behrman, this is the type of image of their daughter that will remain forever imprinted in their memories -- a young girl filled with excitement for life and the promise of a bright future.\n"She was starting to realize that happiness and fulfillment was more important (to her) than making lots of money," Marilyn said, her brown eyes soft and her voice strong as she explained what had motivated her daughter's life.\nThe Day Jill Went Missing\nThe Behrman family was on a long journey toward answers, one that started May 31, 2000, when Jill, the couple's only daughter, went for a Saturday morning bike ride in the Bloomington area, an activity she loved. Her body wasn't found until March 2003, though the community rallied together, forming search parties that scoured the county looking for her all summer and into the fall of that first year. \nToday, they are still grateful and impressed by the support they have received from the IU community, though it should come as no surprise since not only was Jill an IU student, but their son, Brian Behrman, was a junior at the time as well. In addition, Eric and Marilyn work for the Alumni Association and the IU Foundation, respectively.\nWhen Jill disappeared, the Behrman family set up a $25,000 reward for information leading to Jill's whereabouts. When they needed to raise the reward amount in an attempt to get more information, Marilyn said their family spokesman, then-IU Vice-President of Public Affairs Christopher Simpson, called five IU officials asking for personal donations to match the initial reward amount. This money was eventually used to pay for the draining of Salt Creek, among other search and recovery options. \n"That support, that was amazing," Eric said.\nThe Behrmans were devastated by the loss of Jill. Six-and-a-half years later, the wounds still run close to the surface. \nOn the witness stand Oct. 19, Brian, Jill's older brother, sobbed as he recalled how his father had come to his workplace at the Indiana Memorial Union that Saturday to tell him Jill was missing. Eric has cried often in front of the media, tears of both sorrow and joy during the turbulent and emotional events of the arrest and trial of John R. Myers II. \nThough the sentencing of Myers, who was convicted of her murder, won't be decided until Friday, the Behrmans said they felt a weight had been lifted off their shoulders as soon as the jury announced Myers was guilty.\n"We feel glad that now Myers will not be out where he can harm another person anytime, regardless," Eric said, his and Marilyn's relief palpable. \nMarilyn said she worried throughout the trial about the people testifying against Myers. \n"I kept thinking, 'If he gets off, what will happen to all these people?' I mean, there's a potential for a lot of violence and anger and who knows what," she said.\nEric said that the moment the jury came out, some with red eyes, time just seemed to stretch out before him.\n"As unlucky as we are, we are just so lucky," Marilyn said, expressing her gratefulness to the members of the Myers family who had come forward. "They are very brave. There's no way we can ever repay them that," she said. \nMyers' grandmother, Betty Swaffard, and his aunt, Debbie Bell, both testified that Myers had told them he had a secret and seemed panicked and nervous the day Jill disappeared and in the days following. \nJurors later told the press these testimonies had made a large impact on them.\n"I think Jill would be proud to know that everybody worked so hard on her behalf," Marilyn said, referring to the police, the prosecution and the jury members.\nTroubling Accusations\nIn the aftermath of a controversial murder trial that involved accusations of an older lover, a hidden pregnancy and insinuations from the defense of police and jury error, the Behrmans were eager to clear up what they saw as misconceptions about Jill.\nLike many college students returning home for the summer, many of Jill's belongings remained haphazardly packed in boxes at the family's house, still mixed together with her college roommate's, Marilyn explained. \nShe said in the beginning of the investigation, she and her family had given the FBI anything and everything, uncertain what would help them find Jill. This included condoms, emergency contraceptive pills, a pregnancy test and books about pregnancy that the defense ultimately used to argue that Jill was a sexually active woman who might have been pregnant with an older lover's child. In addition, Myers' attorney, Patrick Baker, highlighted a police report from 2004 in which Marilyn is quoted as saying Jill could have been pregnant. This was a theory that was never proven.\nBaker's suppositions in and out of the courtroom angered the Behrmans, and they held a press conference during the trial condemning the defense's "appalling" treatment of Jill's memory.\n"I never dreamed that defense attorney would walk right in front of the camera and say that," Eric said, latent anger rising in his voice. "I wasn't going to let that go. No father would."\nMarilyn said the concept of Jill being pregnant was taken out of context. \n"I don't remember saying 'I think she was pregnant.' I might have said, 'She may have been; it's a possibility.' But we know about possibilities, don't we," she said, giving an oft-recited example the prosecution used to debunk the theory. "Well, it's possible that Elvis and Jimmy Hoffa have an apartment together in Las Vegas, but it's not very likely."\nThe Behrmans said it was difficult to have their daughter's entire life out in the public eye. Jill was recovering from an eating disorder in high school, and Marilyn said it had been hard for her to tell strangers her daughter's secrets, when she was used to protecting her.\n"Here I am, within days of her disappearance, and I'm telling (the police) everything I know about my daughter that she would never want to be made public," she said.\nThe false leads were the hardest for Eric.\n"There were just so many ups and downs," he said, recounting a litany of false messages from strangers on the Internet and psychics from the early days of the investigation into her disappearance.\nUnanswered Questions\nThere are still unanswered questions, and these are the unknown factors that eat at the Behrmans. No one knows how Jill and Myers met that day, and they might never know exactly how long she was with him before she was killed.\n"She'd have been so scared of him," Marilyn said, explaining that Jill had a strong fear of strangers and would have been easily panicked by Myers' attention to her. \nBoth Eric and Marilyn often go methodically through the hypothetical timeline the police have placed together, though even now they can't agree on what exactly might have happened. \nEric is convinced that Myers was out driving, upset because he couldn't find his teenage girlfriend, Carly Goodman. He saw Jill, who was 19; he turned his rage on her, perhaps running her off North Maple Grove Road by hitting the bumper of his car against the back wheel of her bike. Then, while she was struggling to get her feet out of the pedals, which had straps, he stopped the car, opened up his trunk, and threw her in it, just like he had allegedly done to Goodman, she would later tell investigators. Marilyn, by contrast, believes what the police and FBI have suggested is a plausible explanation - that Jill was walking beside her bike at the time, and when Myers stopped her, a struggle ensued. \n"That's just a theory; nobody really knows," Marilyn said. "Well, Myers knows."\nEither way, Eric said that where Jill's bike was found abandoned in the cornfield was the last place the search dogs could sense Jill. \n"The dog scent stopped right there," Eric said, adding that he and his wife don't like to dwell on what might have happened.\n"I try not to even think about what happened after he got ... to her. I don't think I want to know what all she went through and how scared she was," Marilyn said. "We would give anything if we could turn the clock back, but we can't do that."\nA New Chapter\nAs the sentencing hearing for Myers is about to begin, the Behrmans are looking toward the future. \nThey are working on projects that preserve Jill's memory and help others in the community, such as Jill's House, a temporary housing center for cancer patients receiving treatment at the IU Cyclotron facility.\nIU's "Run for the End Zone," an annual 5K run/walk, was renamed in honor of Jill, who was an employee of the Student Recreational Sports Center. The money raised from it benefits Jill's House and an emerging leader scholarship also named for Jill.\nMarilyn and Eric said they want people to remember Jill as a normal, bright 19-year-old young lady "who was concerned about her world and wanted to make a difference."\n"She didn't get to realize any of her dreams," Marilyn said, describing Jill as one of the hardest workers she knew, who had found fulfillment in bicycling, exploring the outdoors and in living life to its fullest. "We can all learn a lot from Jill."\n"She liked to have fun," Eric said, his bright blue eyes watery with tears. "She challenged herself"