Fashion hookers and retail pimps

Lately, big-time designers have been whoring themselves out to the mass consumer market. But I mean "whoring" in a respectable way -- think less of the stiletto boot-sporting streetwalker type and more of the Chanel-sporting "lady of the night" type.\nBut everyone knows a ho ain't complete without her pimp. In this case H&M and Target are the backers behind this slutty endeavor. And now they're rolling on 20-inch rims (big pimpin', spending G's).\nWith almost every changing season, retail chain giants like H&M and Target bring in a serious fashion heavy hitter to design a line for their stores. The line is highly publicized, and after it is sold and done, the two part ways. (This is why Isaac Mizrahi, who has unfortunately sold his soul to the red-and-white bull's-eye in a more permanent way, only has a talk show on the Style Network. What's the Style Network? I don't know either.)\nBack to the real designers. When I said "serious" fashion heavy hitters, I meant it. On the runway, these designer duds cost more apiece than the state of Rhode Island. Not that Rhode Island is up for auction on eBay or anything, but if it were, no one would buy it because (a) he or she would rather have a Stella McCartney pencil skirt and (b) it's Rhode Island. What has it done for you lately?\nLots of designers have already jumped on the mass-market bandwagon, including Karl Lagerfeld and Victor & Rolf (both for H&M). And this month, Proenza Schouler will reveal its new line for Target -- a collaboration that has caused me to pee my pants daily in anticipation. For those of you who now look constipated after a few moments of analyzing the pronunciation and greater significance of "Proenza Schouler," just trust me. It's orgasmic.\nBut here's the glory of it all: These new designer pieces usually never top $75. They may be slightly higher in price than their nearby non-designer threads, but not excessively so. \nMaybe you're wondering why these fabulously successful designers would want to take a dip in the fashion kiddie pool that's been peed in by corporate killers when they could just keep swimming in the deep end. Well, just like the pimp and the ho, it's totally symbiotic. The pimp gets cash for his Fubu gear and the ho gets the abusive and controlling father figure she always wanted.\nSimilarly, H&M and Target are raking in crazy profits while the designers are getting great publicity and a link to average America. \nOne major downfall of this enterprise is that only 5 percent of Americans have heard of Proenza Schouler, and that particular 5 percent would not even buy toilet paper at Target, let alone a wardrobe. As for the other 95 percent, it may just seem crazy that Target would actually charge more money for a blouse designed by someone they have never heard, especially since the store is so notoriously inexpensive.\nSo my advice is this: Take advantage of these exclusive lines. They may not be the highest of quality, but they've been designed by well-established fashion geniuses. It's beyond worth it.\nOr, you could just wait for a new line of Coach bags to start rolling in at Wal-Mart, since that's the only designer name girls at IU seem to be concerned with, but I wouldn't hold my breath.