Pump up the volume

As an avid fashionista, I find inspiration in everything from Flavor Flav to Andy Warhol. But over the years, music has been the foundation for my style, the cheese for my macaroni, the pedophilia for my MySpace. \nWhen I was in the sixth grade, I went through my "Bush phase." (The band, obviously.) Consequently, I started sporting baggy cargo pants and unflatteringly tiny shirts at school.\nWhen I was in my sophomore year of high school, I rocked out to Green Day (pre- "Boulevard of Broken Dreams," the musical equivalent to hemorrhoids). Of course, I bought a barrage of studded belts and started demolishing my jeans with scissors and a cheese grater.\nWhen I was in my senior year of high school, I had a boyfriend who introduced me to Radiohead. (Coincidently, my relationship with Thom Yorke -- Radiohead's lead vocalist -- has always been much more sexually satisfying than the relationship with said boyfriend ever was.) I started wearing more hemp and less Abercrombie. I also realized I was a Democrat. \nRight now, I'm really into Wu-Tang (yes, Wu-Tang), an amazing Russian vocalist named Regina Spektor, who sings a whole song devoted to a jar of pickles, and Sufjan Stevens, an acoustic Christian singer/songwriter who I wouldn't mind creating non-Christian, brooding offspring with. \nI have a point, and it is this: the links between music and fashion are undeniable, and therefore I deem it necessary to let your style prove that. \nFor example, I don't wear Hollister t-shirts because I don't listen to Simple Plan or the All-American Rejects. (Also, because I pay car insurance and I'm no longer 12.) And I don't wear glittery halter-tops with sequined butterflies because I don't know all the words to "Buttons" by the Pussycat Dolls. It just makes sense. \nSo, if you're getting sick of wearing sweatpants every day, try to pick a fashion/music genre (hip-hop, grunge, indie, emo, etc.) and fly with it each day -- just coordinate with your iPod. And it's so easy now: each music genre already is a style. It's practically spelled out for you. \nFor example, say you wake up in the morning and the first thing you want in your ears is Daft Punk's "Harder Better Faster Stronger." Obviously you're feeling edgy, so slap on a pair of tight jeans and rip a few holes in your shirt. And maybe take some Ecstasy. \nThis formula works both ways, too. Say you've got the fashion thing down, but the only CDs in your collection are Nickelback and Phil Collins. Think about what music really matches your style (and it sure as hell better not still be Phil Collins.) If you're into the Gap and J. Crew, more than likely you'll want to download the new Keane CD. If you shop at Hot Topic, pick up a Marilyn Manson album. \nThe idea of pairing music and fashion together is veritably foolproof -- their relationship is like Whitney and Bobby's. Individually, they look like cracked-out homeless people who might or might not have Tourette's syndrome. Together, however, their eccentricities negate each other, forming a half-hour of hysterical, drug-induced bliss. \nAnd the lines between the two are constantly getting blurrier (just like Paula Abdul's eyesight and motor skills). \nWhen was the last time you went into Abercrombie and didn't leave with hearing damage? Never. Obnoxious, awful techno jams are part of the brand's shopping experience -- it distracts you just enough to pick up that shredded denim skirt that's cut for an infant. If they were blasting Celine Dion, you'd know better, though you might start shopping for elderly French music producers. \nIf you're not up for broadening your music/fashion horizons, that's fine by me. I hear K-Fed is releasing a follow-up to "Popozao," along with a line of illiteracy-inspired wifebeaters. How could you resist?