Finally, Oprah as Lochness

When we last left the characters, Red (Morgan Freeman) was walking along the beach in Mexico, about to meet up with Andy Dufrane (Tim Robbins) for what seemed like a perfect retirement away from prison by taking a trip to a Caribbean island. What we didn't know was that the island was populated with cannibals. And the only thing they value more then human flesh? A good boat race.\nWhile many loved the first film, I had always hoped for a sequel and this is exactly what I had imagined. Having Red die in the first five minutes and be an inspiring ghost is the perfect part for Freeman, even though he seemed a little too Casper-esque with his falsetto voice. \nOprah turned in a surprising performance as the Lochness Monster who attacks the cannibals' boat because she's tired of their people-eating ways. Through brilliant CGI by Peter Jackson's team, Oprah makes the 40-foot-long monster come to life. The beast feels real and gives the film a sense of warmth and a sense of humor as she enjoys a beer with Andy and Red before the race.\nWhen the ghost of Red tells Andy "If you don't win the boat race, then you're getting busy dying," there wasn't a dry eye in my apartment. Then Oprah ate him. Don't worry about this being a spoiler: It all happened before the credits.\nI had to make three pots of coffee to stay up 72 straight hours to watch the jam-packed extra features discs. Fifteen commentary tracks (three by Oprah, who filmed entirely in front of a green screen), 55 deleted scenes and a two-hour gag reel never got boring. But the best feature of all was the sneak preview for "Shawshank 3: Zombie REDemption" song. \nMcG kept his brilliant "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle" and "We are Marshall"-filled career going with this sequel that makes Shawshank look like the 100-foot-long pipe of poop Andy crawled through in the original. Brilliant guest spots by Larry David playing God and Dustin Hoffman as Poseidon battling to death in a final scene is the fight for the ages.