Freshman leads Relay for Life team in honor of dad he lost to cancer

Growing up, the Ober boys knew where to go when it was time for sporting fun. Whether it was going to Cincinnati Reds and Bengals games, coaching his oldest son’s Special Olympics teams or just throwing a ball around in the backyard, their dad, Dan, was the man for the job, Patrick Ober says.\nOber is just a freshman at IU, but when he was 18, his father passed away after being diagnosed with melanoma. Now another type of sporting event is bringing his family together. Ober is taking a step to heal and help others by leading a team for the IU Relay for Life, a walk to raise money for cancer research, on March 31 and April 1.\nOber said he is ready to help others, as his friends and family have helped him. He said he decided to be a team captain because the money goes to cancer research. His roommate and co-captain, Johnny Pasho, brought a flier home and suggested the idea, Ober said as he fiddled with a purple rubber band on his wrist that reads “Fight Cancer, Support Ober.”\n“It’s helping me in the sense that I never really had something I could do when (my dad) had cancer,” Ober said. “It’s a way for me to not feel so helpless because I can control something about it.”\nBecause Ober had lost his father shortly before coming to IU, Pasho believed this would be worthwhile to his roommate. “I knew before I asked Patrick that he would want to do it,” Pasho said.\nPasho said he got the idea to be a team captain after being involved in Relay for Life in previous years. “My grandmother died of cancer in January of 2005, and my stepfather fought cancer the following year and survived it.”\nHe said it was this closeness to both loved ones who passed away from and survived cancer that gave him motivation to join the fight against the disease. “The (relay) experience has been pretty impressive,” Ober said.\nTeam Obie has 11 members, according to the team Web site. Ober raised $2,660 of the team’s $4,587, and he said most of that was raised through mass e-mails to his friends and family.\nTeam Obie is in honor of Dan Ober, Donna Wilson – Pasho’s grandmother and Ken Morris – another team member’s father.\nDan Ober passed away in August 2006, almost a year after being diagnosed with melanoma.\n“He had heart surgery and a staph infection, so August 18 he went back to the hospital,” Ober said. “He’d been having a really bad headache; he’d had a brain tumor and tumors in his kidney, adrenal gland and liver.”\nBut Ober said the deterioration of his father’s body didn’t keep him from enjoying his loving company. Ober spent last summer living with his dad.\n“He was probably the easiest person anyone could talk to,” Ober said, as he wiped a tear on his wrinkle-free jeans. “He was a very laid back and relaxed kind of guy.”\nOber said his parents had been divorced since 1990, and even though they both remarried he said his mother and father stayed best friends. He said his parents mostly talked about him and his two brothers, Steven and Jacob. Steven is the eldest brother, and although he has a mild mental handicap, he still loves sports, Ober said. Ober’s father and stepfather would coach Steven’s special Olympic teams together.\nHe said the best memory he has of his father is the time he spent with him and his brothers.\n“Especially when we were younger,” he said. “I don’t ever remember a time when we’d want to play catch or something outside and he’d say no. He always made time for me and my brothers.”\nBesides the support of his family and friends, he said his father’s best friend, Den Walker, helped him through these past seven months.\n“Just because, aside from my brothers, he probably understood the most, because he’s like my dad’s brother,” he said. “They are similar in personality; Walker’s another one of those kind you can always talk to.”\nMost Relay for Life team captains have been affected by cancer either personally or through a family member or friend, said Mike Grady, the IU Relay for Life team development chairman, himself a cancer survivor.\n“A team captain is a person that really cares about the event and steps up to lead the team to success,” he said.\nTeams captains serve as organizers for their teams and take on the responsibility of getting information from the relay committees distributed to their team members.\n“The purpose for Relay for Life is not just fundraising, but to celebrate the people who have fought cancer in their lives,” he said. “It’s an opportunity for people to know there are people out there fighting the same sort of fight and you’re really not alone.”