My Little Five

As the sweaty men cycled, beads of hot sweat dripping down their tight, spandex shorts, I stood in the stands – not at all aroused. \nStanding next to me, a group of shirtless fraternity guys cheered wildly, exposing underpants, which I didn’t notice because I was thinking about something else, maybe church. As they cheered, their beefy arms rubbing against my body, my crotch remained completely still – motionless – each testicle like a teeny, tiny, neighborhood pond. \n<5 laps to go>\nIt was stiff – the competition. Exhilarating. Captivating. However, my attention suddenly shifted as I felt a tap on the shoulder. Towering over me, in tall stilettos that were clearly “walk of shame shoes” – was a sorority girl, plastered beyond belief. \n“You’re that guy!” she said, spittle running amok. “You’re that gay columnist!”\nThough she went on to gush, complementing my work, I was instantly peeved. After 2 ½ years of writing, is that all I had become … the gay columnist? As I watched the laps unfold – the last five – I began to reflect upon my own. \nFive semesters of column writing. Five semesters of bitten nails, Red Bull breath and weekly deadlines. And what had I accomplished? Anything? Nothing?\n<4 laps to go>\nAs a journalist, you often wonder if you’re really doing anything, if the exertion has actually made a difference. You worry that – like a bicycle race – you’re just going around in circles, ultimately ending up right back where you started. \nHowever, as I look back – on my own little five – it’s easy to see: a lot has changed. \n<3 laps to go>\nWhen I joined the IDS during my freshman year, I was incredibly insecure with my orientation – definitely the Humpty Dumpty of homosexuals. It was through the self-empowerment of writing, and the growing confidence, that I began to establish a reputation, a following, and above all, a voice. \n<2 laps to go>\nAfter coming out, it became my prerogative to write predominately homo-licous stories. I wanted to be a motivator, a leader – like Martin Luther Queen – providing a voice to an otherwise muted community. And now, after 1,000 gay puns, 700 testicle jokes and two actual interviews, my journalistic “race” at IU is almost over. This is my last column. \n<1 lap to go>\nHowever, the race for gay rights has just begun. Together, all of us will ride towards the finish line, towards the rainbow, checkered flag of equality. \nWe’ll ride for marital rights, which we’ve long been denied. We’ll ride for adoption rights, for the opportunity to shed love upon the discarded. We’ll ride for civil rights, to ensure that hate crimes are not condoned by an intolerant government. \nIn this race, this life, there is no second place – no silver medal for second-class citizenship. We will arrive first. And though it may be an uphill trek – arduous and exhausting – I look forward to leading the pack.\nAfter all, this writer likes it rough. Really rough.