Black it out of your mind

What the hell is there to say about the train wreck that is Britney Spears that hasn't already been said? There's no use wasting time gabbing about her exploits, terrible mothering skills or that jaw-droppingly dreadful performance at the MTV Video Music Awards. The good news for Britney fans is that she's finally back with her first album of all new material since 2003's In the Zone. However, the bad news is that Blackout isn't good enough to erase most of the insane things she's done in the last few years. \nBlackout features the most dance tracks a Britney album has ever had. Each song has some pretty good production, and a few even have interesting beats. "Piece of Me" is easily the strongest track, starting with the almost-too-perfect sound effects of some major moans and "oh yeahs." The beat in "Piece of Me" is a bit slower than most of the tracks, but it changes throughout, giving it a somewhat unique flavor.\nEven more surprising are the lyrics, which aren't good but are relevant: "I'm Mrs. 'Lifestyles of the rich and famous' / I'm Mrs. 'Oh my god that Britney's shameless.'" But right when you think the song actually features personal lyrics, you look to find that she didn't write one damn line of it. The good news, however, is that some 40-year-old man understands how tough it is to be a tabloid slut. \nMost of the other tracks, such as the lead single "Gimme More," "Radar" and "Hot As Ice" are definitely passable as dance-club joints. "Hot As Ice" includes some laser-gun-esque production and a great, driving drum -- the perfect mix for any club jam. Of course, the lyrics are laughable: "I'm cool as fire baby / Hot as ice / If you've ever been to heaven baby this is twice as nice." \nThe major issue with Blackout's songs, even the decent ones, is that they all sound the same. Spears never strains herself vocally, staying in the same wheelhouse throughout. It's probably safe to assume that the top-notch production is masking some of her vocal issues. \nEven if you don't want to like any of the songs on Blackout because you hate Spears, there's a pretty good chance you'll find yourself nodding your head to at least a couple of them. It's not as bad as you might think -- probably only from lowered expectations -- but definitely not anything more than a lump of mediocre cuts that may only save Britney's career from suffering a permanent blackout.