Bullet hole theory

By the time I was 19, I had learned from some of the greatest business minds of our generation – excellent managers, networkers and leaders. I had spent many hours learning from their triumphs, failures and insights, and I had done it for several hundred dollars.\nWhat others simply glanced over, I found incredibly valuable. I am talking about the concentrated wisdom of business books on niche subjects. \nIn my teen years I had a dilemma. I wanted very much to become a business person, but the problem was that I had never met a business person, and I knew that the only way to learn business was directly from successful individuals. \nSince my funds were limited, I went to the one place that could satisfy my desires: the Borders store by my house. Whenever possible, I convinced my parents to drive me to the bookstore so I could spend several hours going through the business section. Ignoring the patronizing looks of 40-year-old balding men, I began to devour book after book on different subjects from business to psychology.\nThough I didn’t have a name for it at the time, I had placed all my chips on my bullet hole theory. The bullet hole theory is based on the assumption that every individual is born with several strengths and significantly more weaknesses. I call these weaknesses bullet holes. They are bullet holes because not only do they leave gaps, but they are potentially deadly.\nBecause everyone is born with these bullet holes, we need to examine why only a small minority of the population is able to overcome them. \nIn order to understand, we need to consider the two types of confident people in the world. The predominant type is composed of the men and women who have never tested their skills but develop a strong aura of confidence. Call him cocky; call her stuck up. Whatever it is that you call them, these individuals get laid, and some of them get laid a lot. The problem is that these individuals rarely get paid. The reason is simple: While these individuals are confident, this confidence is not based on any logic or experience.\nThe other type of confidence is what you see in most successful leaders. This confidence comes from experience with facing great obstacles in their lives and overcoming them. These individuals often look for challenges and obstacles because they know that it will lead to greater confidence and reward.\nThe reason the latter population is so successful is because it has embraced a specific attitude. These individuals are able to accurately and objectively evaluate their own strengths and weaknesses. Once they identify their weaknesses, they are able to focus on them in an ongoing effort to increase their skills. These individuals understand that there is no wholly successful or unsuccessful person in the world. There are only people that hold different levels of skills and skill sets.\nThe weaknesses that are holding you back from success are not permanent, regardless of how deep and personal you believe them to be. My legs used to shake when I presented to a class of 20 people. Several years later, I can now give impromptu presentations to hundreds of people without breaking a sweat. \nSometimes, an entire skill can be fixed by reading one book and implementing a strategy. Perhaps it’s by reading Keith Ferrazzi and Tahl Raz’s “Never Eat Alone” and learning how to network. Maybe its by reading Manuel J. Smith’s “When I Say No, I Feel Guilty” and learning assertiveness skills. Whatever it is, get it fixed and stop putting it off for tomorrow. You owe it to no one but yourself.