Thankful for beer

This week, students get a well-deserved break. A hiatus from working on papers and creating massive projects, the IU community is preparing for its home stretch with a few days off to let its hair down before the sprint to finals week. And what better way to spend those days than with nagging parents and relatives whose names you can barely remember, hoping that the prayer will be over soon so that you can turn the damn game back on. Ah, the joy of spending time with family. But if you’re looking to formulate a more exciting Thanksgiving break, I suggest you put down the turkey leg and pick up the Wild Turkey Bourbon. Like all holidays (and a whole mess of other activities) Thanksgiving can be enhanced by the consumption of alcohol and the drunken ramblings that follow.\nThe majority of us have a drunken uncle who spends Thanksgiving celebrations brooding in the corner, not because someone took the last turkey leg but because somebody took away his Natural Light. As we get older, we begin to sympathize with the man, understanding his need to get a little juiced before hanging out with these people. After all you can’t pick your family, but you can certainly pick your beer. So instead of the long hours of small talk and bickering, perhaps carrying a flask and making regular “bathroom” visits is in order. You could even share your secret with Uncle Charlie and let him have a few swigs. Now that’s family bonding.\nNot to mention that being a little blitzed during the celebration could just make you the life of the party. There’s nothing like sitting with the men of the family and slurring expletives at the T.V., while threatening a physical confrontation with an enemy cousin (a tradition developed in 1621 when, after a huge feast of turkey and vegetables, the Pilgrims and Wampanoag Indians sat together to watch the Dallas Cowboys kick the Washington Redskins’ asses). Not to mention that with every drink you get smarter and everything you say sounds like the wisdom of Aristotle – your aunts will be very impressed.\nAt the end of the feast (and secret alcohol consumption) the family will leave and you will once again be in sweet solitude. But if you’re not one who likes to be alone – especially while intoxicated – then there’s always the option of calling up some old friends and challenging them to a drinking game (one of my favorite Thanksgiving traditions). \nSo this holiday season, don’t forget to stop by the local liquor store and pick up some holiday cheer. A quick drink with your dad before the endurance trial that is Thanksgiving dinner can make the whole day worthwhile. Sharing a shot with your mom before she puts the turkey in the oven will give the meat just the right amount of char. Having fun with your family on Thanksgiving is easy. But for some of us, it just takes a little bit of Grandpa’s cough medicine to get along. Happy Thanksgiving!