If lepers had iTunes

So you’ve got leprosy. Don’t worry, it happens to the best of ‘em. I’ve got it, too.\nBut unfortunately, you are being banished to a faraway and disengaged island, inhabited only by other lepers and people who buy their velour tracksuits at T.J. Maxx (the ones with the rhinestone appliques).\nAnd because of the unfaltering – but perfectly sensible – rules of leper deportation, you can bring only the following items to accompany you on your slow march towards a limbless death: tweezers, a year’s supply of Nutri-Grain Bars in various flavors, a Magna Doodle, a Roomba and – the kicker! – five albums of your choice.\nRighteous. A silver lining to a fatally-diseased cloud. \nNext, however, we face the daunting task of choosing the albums. Do you pick your all-time favorites? Do you pick the ones that instigate good memories of happier days and Mystic Pizza? Or do you just screw it all and live your remaining time on earth with the Miley Cyrus CD on repeat?\nAll valid questions. \nBut the basic answer is not Rihanna. You can’t stay under her umbrella forever, and soon enough you’ll be begging her to stop the music. (My apologies for the predictable puns there. I couldn’t resist.) Some bands or artists may only be relevant at one specific point in your life, which is totally kosher, just unfitting for this particular task. \nNext time you’re bored in class and are too afraid to rustle the newspaper loudly and obviously so you can make your way to the Sudoku puzzle in the back, try this instead. It’s fun.\nAnd for those of you eagerly waiting for me to divulge my wise selections with you, don’t get your panties in a bunch. I’m not sharing my whole list with you. I wouldn’t want my readers thinking I’ve developed a bias toward certain artists or genres, now would I?\nBut first of all, I will say that my list could never be complete without No Doubt’s “Tragic Kingdom.” I suppose it’s mostly a good memory initiator (as it was the first album I remember absolutely falling in love with), but it would also provide lots of opportunities to really belt it out. I imagine lepers could use more singing. \nTo counteract all the ska, I’d elect Sufjan Stevens’ “Seven Swans” as my second album of choice. It’s kind of like choosing one of the 87 editions of The O.C. soundtrack to listen to on your deathbed ... but we know we all secretly loved it. Except maybe for a few of my more embarrassing friends, who loved it publicly. \nThen maybe I’d put on Radiohead’s “Kid A” for those intimate moments with the Roomba, and the Wu-Tang Clan’s “Think Differently” album for the kinky ones.\nThe fifth shall remain a little secret.\nBesides, everyone knows they don’t allow CD players on leper island.