School’s out for summer

Ahh, wasn’t that a marvelous school year? Who’d have thought that 2008-2009 would turn out to be so filled with momentous change? Would crackle with such boundless energy? Would turn out to be such a roller coaster of terrifying lows and soaring highs?

Or that it would seem to go by so quickly? And yet here we are: back in May again, classes finished, grades turned in. And it’s time for all of you to pack up your stuff and go home.

What’s that? Yes, of course it’s time to go home, you silly goose! I know what you mean, it doesn’t feel like it’s been a whole year since you arrived here, bright-eyed and bursting with possibility. Why, it seems like just yesterday you were parking your car in the middle of Tenth Street while you and your parents lugged that futon up to the third floor of Teter Quad, driving the wrong way down one-way streets and raiding every retail outlet like you were in the Florida Keys during hurricane season. And yet here we are: the first of May! The first of May, 2009! And you can go back again to whence you came, filled with the satisfaction of such a productive year.

You look confused. Oh poor thing, is it possible that in the rush of things you’ve forgotten all we accomplished in the past eight months? Wow, you must have been working really hard this year! After all, who could forget that epic moment when the Hoosiers beat Ohio State to play Stanford in the Rose Bowl? They all said it couldn’t be done, but then they never counted on ... well, you know the rest. The story hardly bears repeating.

Or what about when that sudden blizzard caused IU to cancel class for two days? Who would have expected that in the middle of October? I’m sure glad I brought my parka!

And remember when they had to shut down Ballantine Hall for that movie shoot? I was out there every day and didn’t see anything except extras and crew members, but I have friends who swear they saw George Clooney get a personal pan pizza at the Union.

And how could you forget when the biology department cloned that dinosaur? And it got loose? Thank God it was a plant-eater. Still, that sure was a sight when the Indiana National Guard had to trap it in the Arboretum! Speaking of which, don’t forget that the alumni foundation is collecting money for new trees, and to help pay for those Humvees.

And we all thought it was exciting last year when Sen. Barack Obama showed up
during the Little 500, but who would have thought he’d show up again this year to race? Or that his team would win? He sure is spry for a 47-year-old .
Yes, it has been quite a year. And now you can pack up all your stuff and head back home for summer break. Go on, get out of here. You’ve earned it.