Looking for a few good men

Wanted: One or two college-age males, preferably of large stature and sure hands, for the purpose of competition against other Big Ten schools in the sport of basketball.

Applicants must be enrolled, full-time undergraduate students at Indiana University willing to work long hours, perhaps early mornings. They must maintain good standing within the University and participate fully and enthusiastically in all team practices, without benefit of scholarship.

All interested parties may direct applications and references to Tom Crean, IU men’s basketball coach, Assembly Hall.

Yes, this is my latest failed attempt to be clever, but it’s also true: Tom Crean wants walk-ons.

The new coach said last Friday and again Wednesday that he and his staff are looking to add one or two new players to a squad that by any measure already has an abnormal number of non-scholarship sneakers to fill.

Such is life at Assembly Hall right now.

“I would say I’d like to add two, I really would,” Crean said at his weekly press conference Wednesday. “What that means as far as being guys that are really going to have a chance to play, being guys who would practice with us a lot, type of situation, I don’t know yet.”

Some might view this as the last act of a desperate man. As the saying goes, I don’t care if it’s the last act of Henry V, this year, the Hoosiers have to do whatever they can, because it’s all they’ll have.

Make no mistake, there will be no gems among these potential pine-ponies. I don’t need Rick Pitino here to point out that Steve Alford isn’t walking through that door.
But in a year like this one, finding a guy who can eat 10 minutes in the middle of a tough, close contest late in conference play could be the difference between moral victories and real ones – and make no mistake, the real ones will be less than sparse.

Simply put, the Hoosiers need bodies.

Starting after next week, the Hoosiers will begin walk-on tryouts looking for a few good men ... tall ones too.

“Had a young man the other night say, ‘I’ve been thinking about trying out,’” Crean recalled. “When I saw his size, I said, ‘No, you are trying out, no questions asked. If you’re gonna be 6-foot-10, you’re gonna come over and let us look.’”

There are plausible reasons behind this potential search as well. Crean said Wednesday that freshman guard Matt Roth is nursing a shoulder injury and can’t practice right now. And let’s face it, if there really is anyone in Bloomington taller than 6-foot-7, surely they can be of use in some capacity.

So if nature graced you with the height of Charlemagne or the wingspan of a pterodactyl, lace up your Chuck Taylors and get in line.

“It’s fun,” Crean said, speaking both of adding walk-ons and more generally about the situation the Hoosiers find themselves in at present. “You know, we’re trying to have some fun with it.”

If you say so, coach.

See you Tuesday.