Salt-N-Pepa knows how to shake it typical old-school style

A party can be simply defined as “a social gathering.” Unfortunately, Noah Webster (the dictionary guy) didn’t choose to define it for us in its verb form.

So, being the stud that he was, he left that job to us – a task we heartily accept and demonstrate weekly (and for some of us, daily).

Here at IU, “to party” usually entails fabulous amounts of booze, bad decisions and music so embarrassing that only the stereotypical “bro-dog” will be proud to listen to it in his sport utility vehicle driving down 10th Street.

Last year, as a freshman, I fell through the cracks of our rather musically talented society and found myself surrounded by people who were trying to bring sexy back. At least, that’s one way to put it.

It took two Tylenol, three bottles of water and a Glenn Gass rock history lecture to find my way back to reality.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy bouncing to the phat beats of Jay-Z’s “Big Pimpin’” as much as the next person. Not to mention, there are times when I think, “Wow, Rihanna really does know how to provoke some serious rug-cutting” or “Does Kanye’s ‘New Workout Plan’ really work?”

Nonetheless, why can’t the hosts (or hostesses) of our beloved IU parties play some music with a little more, dare I say, edge?

Obviously the point of these social gatherings is to drink and get your groove on. So, instead of hurting yourself while trying to find the correct dance move to Justin Timberlake or 50 Cent, let us take a moment and remember some of the originals – the ones who taught us how to dance from their outrageously choreographed music videos:

1) Prince: He’s gonna party like it’s 1999.

2) Michael Jackson: Enough said.

3) Salt-N-Pepa: Ah, push it.

4) Run-DMC: He told us it was tricky, so it must be true.

5) Positive K: She’s got a man, but he’s not trying to hear that.

6) Sir Mix-A-Lot: Telling the women of this world that booty ain’t bad.

And of course, the one group that cannot be forgotten from this limited list of old school artists is Sugarhill Gang, who’s just saying “a hip hop the hippie the hippie to the hip hip hop.”

I guess all I’m trying to say is when you’re out there on the dance floor or standing in line waiting for the keg, suggest some early MJ or give Prince a little kiss and get down with your bad self.