Collapsing ‘Under Pressure’

Attention Cubs fans. Step away from the ledge. It will all be OK. It’s just baseball.

Since all of Wrigleyville is on suicide watch, I decided to write Cubs fans a song. Music always cheers people up and this song depicts the Cubs’ abilities in October.

It is called “Collapsing Under Pressure” and can be sung to the tune of “Under Pressure,” originally performed by David Bowie and Queen.

Before we start, I want to announce I have plans for a few other songs this semester, and I am looking for a band to record them for me. I have no musical ability – excluding an amazing rendition of “I have a little dreidel” on the piano – and would love to hear some of these amazing songs played by talented individuals. Please call or e-mail me for more details.

Without further ado, I give you “Collapsing Under Pressure” by Mike Abrams:

Mm ba ba de. Um bum ba de. Um bu bu bum da de.

Pressure building up in time,
Pressing down on them in October.
Under pressure - that hype is picking up,
Splits a city in two.
Puts ballplayers back at home.

Um ba ba be. Um ba ba be. De day da. Ee day da.
 
It’s the terror of knowing,
What this game is about.
Watching some good players,
Taunt “You can’t get me out.”
Pray tomorrow – what’s another 100 years?
Pressure on the Cubs – their fans in tears.

Day day de mm hm. Da da da ba ba. OK

Homering around – trotting the bases in the 1st.
These are the days when they display their worst.
Ee do ba be. Ee da ba ba ba. Um bo bo. Collapse.

Cubs playing at home – ee da de da loss.
Game 2 at home – ee da de da de da loss.
It’s the terror of knowing,
What this game is about.
Watching some good players,
Taunt “You can’t get me out.”
Pray tomorrow – what’s another 100 years?
Pressure on the Cubs – their fans in tears.

You stayed true, through it all, like a blind fan.
Cheered in the stands, but it don’t work.
Keep coming up with good teams,
but October they lose.
Why – why – why?
Why can’t they win win win win win?
When the Cubs play under pressure, they crack.

Can’t we give them one more chance?
Do we really have to wait one more year for one more chance?
Why can’t they get one get one get one get one,
get one get one get one get one get one?

‘Cause the Cubs are
A great team,
With fans who really care for
The players who try their best
To win a playoff game.
But can’t do it not matter how hard they try.

Caring about some curse,
That was their last chance.
They F-ed up their last chance
Because they collapse.
Under pressure,
Under pressure.