Lite politics

It’s a sign of the times that almost everything comes in a light version. Some loser who graduated in the bottom of his class with a marketing degree from a sub-par university decided that it would be clever to spell it “lite” and ended up making the greatest career move of his life.

We now have lite radio, lite beer, lite cream cheese, Nintendo DS lite, and the list goes on.

This year, the presidential election and the media gave us some easy-to-digest lite politics. Some people got tired of absorbing the minutiae of health care reforms, economic troubles, energy dependence and the rest of the hot-button issues this year. Others were simply too thick to even try, (usually the same type of people who think pickup trucks are a status symbol and that dinosaurs are a vast conspiracy perpetuated by the God-hating academic elite).

Why saturate your brain with information when you could watch Joe the Plumber get interviewed by Mike Huckabee on TV? There’s no need to pay attention to issues when you could watch a bald, tax-evading, unlicensed plumber talk about how he continues to support John McCain even though he’d be better off under Barack Obama’s tax plan.

If that is still too much for you, there’s always Mrs-O.org. With just a click of a mouse, we mere mortals can “Follow the Fashion” of Mrs. Obama and have “a regular look at what and who she’s wearing.” There’s no indication as to who the slightly creepy and stalker-esque fashionista is, but he has graciously given us an easy-to-navigate site. You can click on categories representing her outfits, shoes, jewelry, designers and media. Don’t bother passing judgment on her husband’s credentials or policy ideas when you can pass it on that much talked about lava lamp of a dress she wore on election night.

For the proactive lovers of lite politics, the pressing decision you can be worried about right now is not the First Lady’s wardrobe choice, but rather the president-elect’s choice of the First Puppy. Obama’s daughter Malia is allergic, so they need a hypo-allergenic breed, but they wanted to get a shelter dog, and those are mostly mutts. Concerned citizens voted on the American Kennel Club’s specially set up Web site, www.PresidentialPup.com. The people have spoken; visit the Web site to see what America thinks.

If you prefer your lite politics with some good, old-fashioned acrimony, follow Sarah Palin’s saga as she fights the “jerks” who accused her of not knowing Africa was a continent or which countries are part of NAFTA. Funny thing about that is, aside from saying the comments were taken out of context, she didn’t do much to explain how – not surprising coming from a woman who spent six minutes on the phone with someone pretending to be the president of France even after he made references to porn, his wife’s bedroom skills and how much he enjoys taking animals’ lives.

Palin 2012 indeed.