STRAIGHT BIDNESS: Injury prone

Some might call people who inflict pain on their bodies psychologically challenged. I call them just plain stupid.

And do you know who is having the most trouble with this problem of late?
Professional athletes.

Everyone heard about Plaxico “Cheddar Bob” Burress’ gunshot to the thigh. It has been well-documented, with even my colleague Bryan Payton writing about it Tuesday.

But have you heard about Chicago Bulls starting point guard Derrick Rose’s recent stitches?

This year’s No. 1 draft pick accidentally cut himself in bed with a knife he was using to cut apples. The laceration required 10 sutures. He said it was a lazy mistake and is nothing that will affect his performance on the court.

Although I don’t believe the injury actually happened like it was explained, I am more appalled that these top-notch athletes keep hurting themselves in silly situations.
The trend is starting to get serious, too.

Besides Cheddar Bob and Rose, many other athletes have accidently hurt themselves.
You may not have heard about these stories (because they aren’t real), but here are a few other top-notch athletes who have accidently hurt themselves this past month.

Charles Barkley, who can’t really be considered a top-notch athlete at this point in his life, accidently burned himself on a George Foreman Grill. It wasn’t his fault. He thought there was another burger on there for him to eat and he went grabbing.

Sean Avery accidently contracted an infectious disease from a lady partner. He thought he was going to be her first partner. Turns out he was just her sloppy seconds.

LeBron James accidently got a nasty cut on his finger from a cardboard box. He was busy packing his stuff for his move to New York in 2010.

Alex Rodriguez reportedly bled from his ears after listening

to Madonna’s songs for 18 straight hours. The part I don’t get is that he did it all smiling.
Dwyane Wade accidently threw out his back last week. He was busy carrying the Heat this season and something finally slipped.

Antoine Walker accidently decided to play and sprained an ankle when he was crossed by (fill in the blank with any NBA player) because Walker is the worst defender ever. Thankfully, Walker has a $9 million contract to cover his medical costs.

Finally, top-notch, superstar athlete Mike Abrams contracted dysentery. Luckily, it was only in the computer game Oregon Trial, and he was able to fight off the disease by resting and fording all the proceeding rivers.