Great sexpectations

While at my hair salon, not too long ago I picked up the January 2009 edition of Glamour magazine. My eye was immediately drawn to the rousing coverline “The No. 1 thing that makes sex very, very good” because like any normal, sexually active woman, I eat this stuff right up.

I hurriedly flipped to the page of the feature, hoping for some new technique, or perhaps an undiscovered secret about the male anatomy.

Imagine my shock when this oh-so-titillating sex trick was – are you ready? – waiting.
I raced back to the table of contents, because there’s no way that was the No. 1 thing.
I was redirected back to the same page, where the introduction read, “... some experts say that jumping into bed too soon is the No. 1 relationship mistake women make now. Wait a little – for better sex and stronger love.”

Where to begin? First, I have a serious problem with the relationship between the semi-erotic coverline and the actual contents of the story. It’s misleading and cruel.
Secondly, it’s wrong. I’m not saying everyone should rush sex, but I think that this article implied that you can’t have good sex unless you’re in a relationship and/or you can’t have good sex in a relationship unless you wait until you know that he is a good investment for the future.

In my experience, good sex is directly related to the personalities of the people, not the number of days, weeks or months that you wait.

I’ve taken both routes. With two of my ex-boyfriends, we abstained from sex for a while, and let’s just say the intimate relations were next to mediocre.

Another boyfriend and I waited all of two weeks, and got much better results.  
And I know this will upset some people, but I’ve had an amazing time with men whom I never even ended up dating.

Different people have varying rules about the manners of sex timing, and women are largely under the misconception that if they give it up too soon, they’ll lose everything, which is Glamour’s angle.

It’s true that, for the most part, sex improves as a relationship develops because the comfort level increases and hopefully, wants and needs are communicated more efficiently – all things that come with being in a healthy sexual relationship.
But as for waiting until you know he’s a keeper ... all I have to say is that you gotta test drive the car before you buy it.