Make up over the breakup

I recently went through a breakup. But wait – hold the Ben & Jerry’s and “Sex and the City” Season Two, Episode 18 – it was mutual.

Truthfully, neither of us wanted our near-year of bliss to end, but two hours apart stretched to 10 as my Army man was ordered to Kansas.

Come September he’ll head overseas while I struggle to stay afloat in this horrendous job market. That’s the logic dictating our breakup, and yet so far there are no such restrictions on our feelings.

We talk frequently throughout the day, text when we can’t talk and say “I miss you” and mean it. In the past I would cry to my girlfriends, but now, I can turn to him and honestly tell him how I’m coping.

We’re both experiencing the same feelings of withdrawal, and hey, misery loves company – even if it’s a past lover. I consider myself neither single nor in a relationship, but completely at ease with my tailor-made situation.

I know what you’re thinking: I’m just prolonging the pain, and I’ll never move on. Well, maybe that’s true, but for now I don’t want to move on. I’ve exhausted myself hating my ex-boyfriends, and for what? 

I have scraped off years of my life thanks to endless nights of crying and screaming, usually resulting in me saying cringe-worthy things I know I’ll regret later (“I’m the best thing you’ll ever find!” or “I can’t wait until the day you come crawling back and I’m over you!”).
At this age, especially toward the end of college, relationships face some serious tests. Paths inevitably split after graduation, and the only way to ensure this doesn’t happen is by prematurely sealing the deal with a ring. (More on this in a future column.)
The past three breakups I’ve endured were not due to fading feelings or cheating, but entirely because of circumstance.

Someone always graduates, transfers to another school and starts a new life somewhere else where I just don’t fit – or we just can’t fit together.

Just because we’re victims of circumstance doesn’t mean all has to be lost.

Cliche as it might be, follow your gut because it’s usually right. You don’t have to abide by the breakup rules – if you want to talk, gab your heart out. If you want to stay close, be sure to be honest with yourself and each other.

And if you want to still hook up, then by all means go for it – just be safe.