Spicing up the Pro Bowl

Ever had the feeling that nobody wants you around?

That was me Sunday morning when I realized I had yet to be invited to any form of a NFL Pro Bowl party around campus. Frantically, I checked Facebook for a last-minute invite and after that failed, searched events that friends of friends were attending hoping to find one that said “Guests are welcome to bring friends to this event.”

It was no use. Pro Bowl ’09 was going to be an individual affair, again.

But then it dawned on me – I hadn’t seen one status message bragging about the AFC or a Brett Favre supporter trying to justify the quarterback’s selection to the NFL’s highest honor.

Could it be that not a soul on this massive campus cared about honoring football’s greats? Indeed, it was true.

Does the league really want the drama and excitement of last week’s Super Bowl washed away by coaches in Hawaiian shirts and a game that more resembles a high school powder puff contest?

Let’s face it: The NFL’s Pro Bowl has more flaws than the Chicago Cubs in the playoffs.

Yeah, it’s that bad.

Truly the most newsworthy occurrence of the All-Pro island weekend came before the game was even played when reports surfaced that a prank was pulled by Peyton Manning and several other Pro Bowl veterans. It’s become tradition, I suppose, for the Pro Bowl rookies (Denver Bronco’s QB Jay Cutler, in this instance) to have their cell phones tossed in a pool.

Only problem was that Cutler, a diabetic, was carrying his blood sugar monitor that closely resembled a cell phone.

Splash.

Oops. (No worries, though, as Cutler was quickly able to locate a new one.)

Thankfully, the NFL has noticed that, save roughly 47 people in the continental United States, nobody really cares to watch the stars of the previous season compete in a watered-down game of patty-cake.

Starting next season in Miami, the NFL will swap the Pro Bowl dates to the week before the Super Bowl and play it at the same venue.

It’s an attempt to capitalize on the pre-Super Bowl hype, but had the move been in place for 2009, circus catch extraordinaire Larry Fitzgerald wouldn’t have been taking part in an effort to avoid injury. It’s an attempt that simply won’t work.

Now, I get that complaining about the Pro Bowl is a long, tired affair. But a chance exists to make it a fun-filled, viewer-friendly weekend.

I’ve seen proposals for flag football tournaments, 7-on-7 matchups and other football-related activities that don’t require playing an entire, meaningless game.

Personally, I’d be in favor of having the Dallas Cowboys hash out their issues on a special edition of Jerry Springer or having Adam “Pacman” Jones show how he “makes it rain.”

Public relations nightmare? Yes. Boring to watch? Hell no.

The NFL needs to do something – anything – to make this season-ending event more bearable and more fun. Sure, keep handing out the awards for an “All-Pro” team and give the guys some free trips to Hawaii, but don’t be afraid to make drastic changes.

I think we could all use a little bit more from the heroes of football than a splash landing of a diabetic monitor.